Clothes

Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.

Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas

40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]Preppy girl: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and –you just take off your bottoms and –no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms–.
[Friends erupt in laughter.]Preppy girl: I just mean –I just like not wearing pants…

High School
San Diego, California

Middle school student: It’s not my fault he got hit with the G-string…

Toms River
New Jersey

Overheard by: the sub

Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn’t that a nut?

Macy’s at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York

Guy on train: It’s a stone edifice! You can’t wear a t-shirt in a stone edifice!

Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Spazzy

Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?

Los Angeles, California

Mother to ten-year-old son at supermarket check-out queue: And then we’ll go and look for a dress for me.
Ten-year-old son: I’m not going clothes shopping with you. You go in every shop, you try everything on, you never like anything and come home with nothing and I’m not standing around waiting!
[All male members of the queue cheer.]

Luton
England

Man in cow suit: I know lots of people here too. That’s why I am keeping a low profile. Well, as much as a man in a cow suit can.

Putney Walkabout
London
England