Clothes

Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don’t mix your reds and your whites!

Boulder, Colorado

Professor: Clearly, if I am wearing these pants, no one is gonna want to get in them with me!

Economics Class
University of Delaware Newark, Delaware

Kid with lisp: Let’s investigate some underwear!

Fairwood, Washington

Overheard by: that won’t be in the children’s section…

Chick: Do I look pregnant in this dress?
Boyfriend: Nah, I told you. It just looks like something a pregnant person would wear.

Lakeline Mall
Austin, Texas

40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.

Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey

Overheard by: Philly Joe

Preppy girl: I love not wearing pants.
[Friends start to laugh.]Preppy girl: No! I mean have you ever gone to the beach and –you just take off your bottoms and –no! I mean you like take off your swimsuit bottoms–.
[Friends erupt in laughter.]Preppy girl: I just mean –I just like not wearing pants…

High School
San Diego, California

Middle school student: It’s not my fault he got hit with the G-string…

Toms River
New Jersey

Overheard by: the sub

Big sister: Look sis! This coat says it was made in Macedonia.
Little sister: Isn’t that a nut?

Macy’s at Roosevelt Field
Long Island, New York

Guy on train: It’s a stone edifice! You can’t wear a t-shirt in a stone edifice!

Train
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Spazzy