Professor, reading student midterm reviews of his teaching style: When asked the question, “what would help you understand the material better?” someone wrote “if you wore a thong.” My answer to that is, “how do you know I'm not?”
(class erupts in laughter)
University of Michigan, Dearborn
Overheard by: Nehal
Woman to friend: He didn't know what to do with his chicken, so he stuffed it in his pants.
Stanley Park
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: shiz
Roommate #1: Do you want to go clothes shopping for spring break?
Roommate #2, making disgusted face: I don't wear clothes on spring break.
Roommate #1: (long pause)
Roommate #2: I just wear a bathing suit.
University of Michigan, Ann Arbor
Overheard by: Roommate #3
Man on cell: I can't dust your house today, I'm dusting Amanda's. (pause) No, I'm dusting yours tomorrow. (very long pause) Well, then I don't know why I'm carrying around this dust-rag, I feel silly!
7-Eleven
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Madeline
Nerdy girl to three friends: Of course you run the risk of showing your underpants, but in the face of zombies, I wouldn't mind so much.
University of King's College
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by:
Loud eighth grader: Michael's such a douche, all he wants to do is get in my pants.
Even louder teacher: You're in eighth grade, you shouldn't be letting anybody in your pants!
Potomac, Maryland
Overheard by: Math is my new favorite subject…
Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don't have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah… I think… they don't smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?
Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: I don't think it is
Drunk guy #1 (looking at girl's patterned shirt): Woah, what is on your shirt? It's so confusing.
Girl: It's just a bunch of overlapping circles.
Drunk guy #1: It looks like never-ending sunsets!
Drunk guy #2: It looks like angry rainbows!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
Guy on cell: I don't think we'll be in a bar, considering what we'll be wearing and that we'll be covered in feathers.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
