Colleges & Universities

Guy: Dude, I think my roommate.

Leiden University
The Netherlands

Overheard by: Billy the Bootlegger

College boy #1: Well dude, is she hot?
College boy #2: She's like my best friend, dude, but you'll probably think she's hot. I mean she's got huge tits, but she's my best friend.

Winona State University
Winona, Minnesota

Professor: For all you know, this is a huge lie!

Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!

Miami University, Florida

Overheard by: bad mental picture

College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.

Georgetown University
Washington, DC

Girl #1: She still thinks he's gay.
Girl #2: But he isn't.
Girl #1, laughing: And we have proof.
Girl #2, laughing also: Yes we do!

University of Arizona

Overheard by: Whats the proof

(tiny girl sneaks behind a big, tall guy for a hug)
Big guy, startled: Whoa! Why did you hug me from behind?
Tiny girl: You told me you don't like hugging me from the front because my vagina touches you!

UC Irvine, California

60-something female professor: Boys, you don't have this problem, but girls: always do your Kegels, especially after you have a baby.

Willamette University
Salem, Oregon

Male student, about an exam: What do we have to know about the external parts of the female reproductive system?
Professor: Everything! Not just for the exam, but for yourself! All of you!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Marina

Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!

Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California