Colleges & Universities

Evolution professor: So why can't humans have more then just two sexes? Man, that'd be a lot of fun, wouldn't it?
Class: (uncontrollable laughter)
Evolution professor: Oh, I can see. (pause) I shouldn't have said anything, let's continue…

UC
Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: I'm glad he said it

Student #1: I told my dad I wanted to be famous, and he told me I should kill someone. I was like, seven.
Student #2: At least he's supportive.

Philedelphia University, Pennsylvania

50-something clipboard guy: Excuse me miss, do you have just a couple minutes for campus international?
Girl: Sorry, I don't believe in other countries.

University of Minnesota

Overheard by: Cornielius

Physics professor: Nature doesn't care what you think.

De Anza College
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics

Sensitive soul: Why would I fuck you if you have a rash?

Dining Hall, Stony Brook University
Stony Brook, New York

Overheard by: Slightly amused but scared

Freshman #1: I really use a time machine.
Freshman #2: What for?
Freshman #1: Time travel, dumbass.

Northwestern University
Illinois

(blind shuts in lounge area, blocking really bright sunshine, everybody quickly looks up)
Hot Chinese girl: Hey!
Friend: And finally they drop the blinds. My eyes were starting to hurt.
Hot Chinese girl: But I like the sunshine! It's so bright and warm and it emphasizes my boobs by casting shadows on my chest!

University of Toronto
Canadia

Professor: And he's like, “Jesus, I wish I was pagan!”

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Girl: I was watching this show the other night about large white British men who were sent to Africa to learn to hunt. It was called Fat Men Can't Hump. Wait! No! “Hunt”! It was called Fat Men Can't Hunt. Of course they can hump… If they want to.

Post-Colonial Literature Lecture
University of British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Martha Carscadden

Preppy chick to friend: …and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it's easy to make.

Ohio State University

Overheard by: GameBoy Kid