College girl: We blew a fuse in our room last night. Just in our room, not the rest of the hall.
Science professor: And what did you do to solve this problem?
College girl: I cried.
Professor: That doesn't solve the problem!
College girl: Well, half of my hair was dry and the other half wasn't!
Professor: You were not bilaterally symmetrical. That can be a problem.
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Bro: We don't put shaving cream on our dicks, we put it on our faces.
Illinois State University
Overheard by: Eddy
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: I love the smell of hatred in the morning.
Confused girl sitting next to him: Is it anything like coffee?
Very annoyed guy eating breakfast: What? No, it's nothing like coffee. God, you're so stupid.
College Dining Hall
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Female professor: She was a lesbian…
Male student: Yeah, she was.
Female professor: But he turned her straight with his manliness…
Male student: Yeah, he did.
Appalachian State University
Boone, North Carolina
College chick: Oh my god! Girls are, like, so racist.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Jackie
Professor, in monotone voice: I think we're all familiar with merry-go-rounds. They're objects in playgrounds that rotate at relatively high speeds, and we put our children on them.
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Tyler G
Twelve-year-old boy in lunch line: So I think I have a new arch-nemesis… He's like, Canadian, or something.
Friend: Cool!
Brown University
Providence, Rhode Island
Angry coffee drinker: He referred to his last sexual congress as “being balls-deep” in his lady.
Amused coffee drinker: Something tells me she was no lady.
Angry coffee drinker: That's what you take away from that?
Cornell University
Ithaca, New York
Dude #1: You gotta find a girl to fuck. On the side.
Dude #2: I'm not like that. That's your game.
UCLA
Los Angeles, California
Black guy: Hey! What country you from?
Asian girl: Um… America?
Black guy: You look Chinese.
Asian girl: I am?
Community College
Godfrey, Illinois
Overheard by: M
