Girl #1: Oh my god! You sounded so much like Katharine Hepburn just then!
Girl #2: I sounded like who?
Girl #1: Well, never mind, you stopped doing it. Bitch.
Couch Dorm
University of Oklahoma
Girl #1: Oh my god! You sounded so much like Katharine Hepburn just then!
Girl #2: I sounded like who?
Girl #1: Well, never mind, you stopped doing it. Bitch.
Couch Dorm
University of Oklahoma
Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.
University of South Florida
Girl to group: You guys! Everyone who has not had this fetus in their rectum is still a virgin!
Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York
College student: So far, I'm three for three on not knowing who I left with, or how I got there.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
Girl: So my jaw hurts really bad, right here. (points)
Boy: Maybe you stop sucking so much dick.
Girl, thinking for a second: Many dicks.
Bennington College
Vermont
Student: The form told me that there's a 2% chance that it will happen to me, but if it does happen to me, there's a 100% chance that it will happen to me.
UCLA, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
Large chick in group of students: I like science, music, dance, and you know what else I like? Anal.
Community College
Virginia
Professor: In a year or two, you're going to graduate and have to face the hard decision about what to do with your life. Some of you will be lawyers, some of you will be engineers, and some of you will opt for a life of crime. When you do, and you get caught, roll over on the person you're caught with, and ask for absolute immunity. I hope you don't choose a life of crime, but if you do, at least be smart about it.
Pre-law Class
USC
Trendy girl on cell: It was stuck to my boob this morning. I had to go clean it off… it was all bloody and gross. (pause) Right on my boob. I know… Eew!
University of Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Sarah Neill
