Colleges & Universities

Student to friend: I was going for Asian and it came out pedophile.

Otago University
New Zealand

Boy #1 to boy #2, who is moving his chair: What the fuck are you doing?
Boy #2: I'm moving you out of the way so I can get by.
Boy #1: What? You could've just asked me to move.
Boy #2: Yeah, but I was trying to save you from having to do anything. Don't worry, I was gonna put you back.
Boy #1: Okay.
Boy #2: I hate when people move me and don't put me back.

Student Center, WCC
Valhalla, New York

Overheard by: Princess Diana

Junior girl, watching group of new freshman and shaking her head: I swear they keep getting smaller.

Weber State University
Utah

Professor, pulling blue scarf out of pocket for magic trick: Now that… that is what I like to call… a blue scarf.

Villanova University
Villanova, Pennsylvania

Student: I think that Eminem is like a modern-day Hamlet, you know?

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Guy on bicycle: Hey guys, what should we do when we get home?
Bike friend #1: Hmm… I don't know.
Bike friend #2: Let's masturbate!
Guy on bicycle: Yeah!

University of California
Santa Barbara, California

Professor: Here, let me make you some flesh. You know, you can buy flesh in the school store!

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Painting with Mr. Lector

Professor: Okay, guys, let's stop talking about penises.

Metro State College
Denver, Colorado

Frathole: The thing about being Jewish is that you don't have to believe in god.

UMass
Massachusetts

Overheard by: So proud of my degree

Dude on phone: You have a post-coital gift shop?!

College Campus
Denver, Colorado