Colleges & Universities

Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)

College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Mandi

Guy: We're cool now.
Girl: What?
Guy: I said we're cool now.
Girl: Oh, yeah, I know. That's why I smiled at you instead of slitting my throat.

Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Girl: If you loved me, you wouldn't pressure me to do that!
Boy: Honey, I promise it isn't that weird!

University of Virginia

Overheard by: beth

Male student: Sorry to use an STD metaphor again, but I think the bee pubic hair represented herpes.

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam (kind of hard not to)

Girl: Biology is so interesting! I mean, like, the Golgi apparatus. It reminds me of sex toys!

IUPUI Campus
Indianapolis, Indiana

Student: Hey there! How was your Thanksgiving?
Dining hall worker: Meh, I was pretty indifferent. At least I didn't get arrested.
Student: Oh…that's a good way to look at things.

Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: its something to be thankful for

Girl #1, with condom on hand: I don't know why men bitch about wearing these.
Girl #2: They say they don't feel “natural.”
Girl #1: Well, neither do my glasses, but I wear them 'cause I need to see.

Mount Holyoke College
South Hadley, Massachusetts

Woman on cell: Okay, I might be about to lose you because I'm in an elevator. (pause) I'm in an elevator–how could I be driving?

City College
San Francisco, California

Girl: I feel like, you know, I'm, like, going out with a different guy almost every single night. You know?
Guy: Well, I think that's because you're a whore.

University of Pennsylvania

Overheard by: oh well, okay

Girl on phone: So she had the baby, and now she's getting married.
Random guy walking by: Strike that, reverse it.

SFSU
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Veruca Salt