Student #1, pointing to notebook: If I ever become a famous rapper this is going to be my first album cover.
Student #2: Why? What is it?
Student #1: It’s just a penguin on fire.
Student #2: A flaming penguin — nice!
Student #1, matter-of-factly: I fucking hate penguins…
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Chick #1: I was like, “I thought that shit only happened in porn!”
Chick #2: Or movies.
Chick #1: Oh. Yeah.
Cafe
Denver, Colorado
Chick #1, about grape Vitamin Water: Ewww! You’re actually going to drink pink water?
Chick #2: Hey, man, don’t yuck my yum!
Beat Book Store
Boulder, Colorado
Overheard by: tell it like it is
Teenage daughter: You just know Chuck Woolery was banging every chick on Love Connection.
Mother: Not in front of the 12-year-olds!
Teenage daughter: I dunno, Chuck Woolery is a pretty sick son of a bitch.
Grocery Store Parking Lot
Littleton, Colorado
White geek girl: I swear, if it's the goddamn Macarena, I'm gonna cap a bitch!
Highlands Ranch, Colorado
Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it’s not water. It’s something much, much worse.
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: TK
Football player to another: Fuck you, dude. These are spirit fingers, and these are jazz hands!
University of Colorado
Denver, Colorado
Mother: What time do you need to get up tomorrow?
Teen daughter: 8.30.
Mother: Well, I'm going to be leaving a little before that.
Teen daughter, offhandedly: “Wake me up/before you go-go.”
Mother: I will kill you.
Aurora, Colorado
Girl #1: Really? How did that make you feel?
Girl #2: Fat and guilty.
Student Center, Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado
