Colorado

Student: How can you tell that it's “the walls have ears” and not “the ears have walls”? I mean, I guess that would make sense if you were drugged up…
Professor: Are you implying that I'm not drugged up?

Latin Class
Denver, Colorado

Chick, seriously: Corn's one of them slow motherfuckers.
Friend, upset: Whores.

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Leevee

Freshman boy: I don't think Helen Keller was too concerned about dick.

High School
Colorado

Overheard by: clur

Teen girl: My brother got released from the loony bin today. Same day as he got a new roommate, who kills animals and has an extra Y chromosome. I'm like, “Goddamn!”

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Female student: I came home last night and found my roommate sitting on the kitchen floor, crying and holding a bottle of Jägermeister and a recipe for homemade enchiladas.
Dumb friend: I didn't know you made enchiladas with Jägermeister.

University of Colorado, Boulder

Chick #1: She's on a date with a French guy.
(pause)
Chick #2: I bet French cock is like an eclair.

University of Denver, Colorado

Senior girl #1: Ugh! I feel like I've seen Katie's vagina way to many times.
Senior girl #2: Everyone has seen Katie's vagina. I don't know if you can graduate if you haven't.

Colorado

Overheard by: will be graduating…

Teenage daughter: I had some caffeine pretty late tonight, so I'm gonna take an extra 50 milligrams of Seroquel.
Mother: I'll be sure to call Mary-Kate if anything bad happens.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Instructor, during wine tasting: So swirl the glass and tell me what you smell.
Student: It smells like oak?
Instructor: Yeah! I'm definitely getting wood from this.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: me too

Teacher, pointing to female student: You have ovaries. (pointing to self) I have testes.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado