Girl on phone: I was like, “you're already drunk. You're using the death of Osama Bin Laden to get drunk at 10 in the morning.”
University of Denver, Colorado
Girl on phone: I was like, “you're already drunk. You're using the death of Osama Bin Laden to get drunk at 10 in the morning.”
University of Denver, Colorado
40-something woman on cell: I am going to live to be one hundred, just to be a bitch.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: Jpov
Girl on phone: But I don't have a mustache…
Colorado State University
Teacher to class: You never know what you're going to find stuffed in the head of a mummified crocodile.
Metro State College
Denver, Colorado
Sobbing man with black eye, on cell: I love you so much, baby. I'm gonna squeeze you so hard you're gonna shit. (continues weeping)
Coloradp Springs, Colorado
Security guy: You fell down the stairs.
Girl, trying to convince him that she's sober: Okay, have a gander at these heels.
Security guy: You were also making out with a man on the couch.
Girl: I'm promiscuous!? All your evidence is circumstantial! See, I'm using words like “promiscuous” and “circumstantial.” Have you ever met a drunk person who uses such vocabulary?
Security guy: You exhibit all the signs of intoxication, you are underage, we must ask you to leave.
Girl: For the last time, I'm not drunk! This is just my personality!
Beta Nightclub
Denver, Colorado
20-something hipster guy: There was the big drill for the alcoholic… Then they busted out the small drill and it was like… woah!
Coffee Shop
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Overheard by: Vanessa
Girl, about woman who had gastric bypass: Dude, she has bags of skins. If she jumped out an airplane, she'd glide.
Aurora, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
