I Feel the Magma Flowing Beneath Their Placid Surface

Mother to daughter, regarding t-shirts: We need to get you a big one ’cause your boobs are growing way too fast.
Flat-chested daughter: Yeah, I know.

Hollywood Tower of Terror Shop
Disneyland, California

Posted on July 21, 2015
Body parts, California, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Gender issues, Girls, Moms, Teens, Tourist attractions

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

So Failing You Would Be Against My Religion

Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.

University of Wisconsin

Posted on July 21, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Teachers, Wisconsin, Words

And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!

Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there’s just so much symbolism in that movie — take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He’s, like, Everyman!

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I never thought of it that way

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Movies, Students, Washington

Like Putting Mayo on French Fries

Jock on cell: I bet he’s a lame fuck. He wouldn’t do any of that weird stuff you like.

Barton Springs Pool
Austin, Texas

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Jocks, Kink, On the phone, Texas

Kept Gagging Into My Wide-open Mouth

Guy: So Jeff's cousin came out.
Girl: I knew he was gay! He's like, the only guy I didn't make out with on New Year's.
Guy: You totally made out with him!
Girl: Yeah, but he wasn't into it.

Ramat Aviv
Israel

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Europe, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Holidays, Sexuality

You're the Only One Who Can See Me, Anyway.

Old guy to total stranger celebrating birthday: When you're young you can make love to six women at a time, but when you're old you can only make love to three women at a time.
Birthday man: Three women is plenty for me.
Old guy: Don't tell anyone I said that to you.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/288392553/your-secret-is-safe-with-us.html

Overheard by: coco

Posted on July 20, 2015
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Old folks, Overheard in Minneapolis, Sex, Strangers

Well, We Do Have a Couple Of Pre-op Trannies

Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.

University of Miami
Florida

Posted on July 18, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Penis, Questions

It's Like in the Bible, or Something

Dude: And so you go to sleep all relaxed, but when you wake up, they cut off part of your penis!

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on July 18, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Penis, Virginia, Weirdness

Hard to Believe, with All the Japanese Tourists.

Teen at Disneyland, loudly to a group of family and friends: Everyone's butt is obvious!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Posted on July 17, 2015
Ass, California, Compare and contrast, Family, Friends, Teens, Weirdness

Compare and contrast