Wife to husband: You're back already? That was the quickest poop you've ever done!
Whole Foods
Alexandria, Virginia
Wife to husband: You're back already? That was the quickest poop you've ever done!
Whole Foods
Alexandria, Virginia
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Upset girl to friend: Everything's not the way it should be, it's all wrong. I fail at life.
Friend: Oh, no, you don't fail at life! This is just one of those little things you will fix, along with other things you will fix, and in the end, you'll end up with a pile of little fixed things.
Christchurch
New Zealand
Overheard by: Julia
Girlfriend: Those sculptures over there look nice.
Boyfriend: Baby, I think they're vaginas.
Norman, Oklahoma
Lady who lunches to friend: He's very smart, but he's not ruthless.
Westport, Connecticut
Gay #1, to gay #2 in passing: Your hair's getting so long!
Gay #2: Thanks!
Gay #1, cheerfully: It wasn't a compliment!
Muncie, Indiana
Slightly tipsy girl at party: Hi, I'm Liz. (pause) Oh, I like your ears.
Savannah, Georgia
Scary emo girl, pointing at friend: What am I? Say it! Say it! What am I? Say it!
Bullied emo guy, quietly: You're a delicate emo angel.
Federal Hill
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Man on cell: I'll see you then. You have a sexy voice… It's nice!
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: ktjane
Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: Now, ladies, I am impressed with your Louis Vuitton and your coach. I adore your Prada and your Gucci. They are beautiful. But I will be more impressed with all of your bags if you stow them under the seat while we are landing. Now sit back and shut up.
(five minutes later, while plane is taxiing)
Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: We are finally here. So please, exit the plane a lot quicker than you boarded it. (plane stops, parks at gate) Get out.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
