You’ve Taught Him Respect

Hubby: Absolute power corrupts absolutely, dear.
Wifey: It’s not absolute.
Hubby: It isn’t?
Wifey: No. You’re not bowing.
Cashier: Ooh, I like you.

Eau Claire, Wisconsin

Overheard by: the girl with the hat

Posted on April 12, 2026
Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Couples, Customers, Default, Employees, Hubbies, Wisconsin, Women

Wanna See Some Wallet Photos from the Huffing Years?

Girl#1: I mean, my parents have no money now. Dad lost it in his “snort” phase.
Girl#2: My mom had that phase, but now she’s just into the “prescription” phase.
Girl#3: That’s a great phase.

Banana Republic
Kitchener
Canada

Posted on April 10, 2026
Age and ageing, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Drugs, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Stores

Planned Parenthood Would Have Advised Mary to Say No

Planned parenthood speaker: I’m here to talk to you about birth control.
Chick, ecstatic: This really is the best Christmas ever!

High School Assembly
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on April 4, 2026
Birthing, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Education, Happiness, Holidays, Pregnancy, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

Freud: I’m Not Even Sure What She Wants

Girl #1: Yeah, that’s not cool, but I understand. He sounds very immature.
Girl #2: He is. It’s such a shame. I laid in bed last night reminiscing about the time I spent with him in bed. It’s like I can still feel it. Too bad he’s such an asshole, and too bad that good dick makes me so… not able to accept what a douchebag a guy really is.

Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on March 30, 2026
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Georgia, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Penis, Relationships, Sex

At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda