That’s Like Saying, “I’ll Pass This Class.”

Professor: Can anyone give me an example of an equal relationship?
Student: Husband and wife?
Professor: Oh, you’re so idealistic…

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Posted on February 18, 2026
Class, Compliments, Education, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Students, Teachers

And Can I Use Your Leg As a Scratching Post?

Patron #1: Keith is really sorry to have acted like that.
Bartender: Does he even realize how drunk he was?
Patron #1: I’m just saying, that is not the Keith we know
Patron #2: [starts laughing].
Bartender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Patron #1: I’m just letting you know, that according to all the cats he knows, you are the meow [makes a pawing gesture].
Bartender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Patron #2: He doesn’t even know who Keith is.
Patron #1: Where are we?

Bennigans
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on January 15, 2026
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Compliments, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Florida, Guys, Questions

In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don’t Look Good Naked Are Put to Death

Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy’s myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn’t.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I’d look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean he likes you.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on January 13, 2026
Beauty, Bragging, California, Comebacks, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Pride, Sexuality, Teens

And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student

Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.

PM’s
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on December 22, 2025
Bars & Clubs, Bragging, Christianity, Compliments, Default, Guys, Religious fanatics, Sex, Tennessee

Then Turn Them into a Headband for Church

Ghetto woman #1: Oooh, I like them shorts.
Ghetto woman #2: I know, girl. My buttcheeks hang all out in them. I’m going to wear them to the club and find me a good man.

Wet Seal
Bradenton, Florida

Overheard by: Rae Crider

Posted on December 19, 2025
Black people, Bragging, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Florida, Women

Doesn’t Smoke, Never Misses a Curfew…

Well-dressed older lady: That’s definitely one of the better diphthongs.

Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on December 15, 2025
California, Compliments, Default, Old folks, Women, Words

Father Mike Continues His Downward Spiral

Satisfied customer: They had bacon I would drop-kick a nun for.

Maggie’s
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Posted on December 7, 2025
Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Compliments, Customers, Default, Food

Could’ve Been Ugly If She Hadn’t Been Lactating, Though

Guy at dinner: Yeah, we figured we’d just have a low key night with just a few beers and some margaritas, but then Ann* was like, ‘Wow, I haven’t had any liquor in two months!’ so the next thing you know, we’re dropping 60 bucks at the liquor store, then the backyard porch swing’s on fire… It was a pretty fun night.

Arlington, Virginia