If Chris Rock Had a Nickel for Every Time He’s Heard That…

Patron #1: Keith is really sorry to have acted like that.
Bartender: Does he even realize how drunk he was?
Patron #1: I’m just saying, that is not the Keith we know
Patron #2: [starts laughing].
Bartender: Well, he is a nice guy, he just gets too drunk.
Patron #1: I’m just letting you know, that according to all the cats he knows, you are the meow [makes a pawing gesture].
Bartender: Okay, how drunk are you?
Patron #2: He doesn’t even know who Keith is.
Patron #1: Where are we?

Bennigans
Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Chris

Posted on January 15, 2026
Animals, Bars & Clubs, Bartenders, Compliments, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Feelings, Florida, Guys, Questions

In L.A., Teenage Girls Who Don’t Look Good Naked Are Put to Death

Teen girl #1, looking at hot teen guy’s myspace page: He likes me.
Teen girl #2: No, he doesn’t.
Teen girl #1: Yes, he does. He told me I’d look good naked.
Teen girl #2: Well, that’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean he likes you.

Los Angeles, California

Posted on January 13, 2026
Beauty, Bragging, California, Comebacks, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Pride, Sexuality, Teens

And That I Was Her Favorite Sunday School Student

Slacker boy: I could tell she was really into me, because she told me, like, three times, how she had given up sex for lent.

PM’s
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on December 22, 2025
Bars & Clubs, Bragging, Christianity, Compliments, Default, Guys, Religious fanatics, Sex, Tennessee

Then Turn Them into a Headband for Church

Ghetto woman #1: Oooh, I like them shorts.
Ghetto woman #2: I know, girl. My buttcheeks hang all out in them. I’m going to wear them to the club and find me a good man.

Wet Seal
Bradenton, Florida

Overheard by: Rae Crider

Posted on December 19, 2025
Black people, Bragging, Clothing, Compliments, Default, Florida, Women

Compliments