Of Thirst?

Girl telling friend about dream: So then I was lying on a bed of beef jerky and my dad came up and his armpit hair was all white and fuzzy and that's when I realized I was gonna die.

Park
California

Posted on March 7, 2018
California, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Hair, Weirdness

That, and Getting Highlights

Drunk lady: So, like, I haven’t been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You’re serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don’t think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It’s my New Year’s resolution.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aayin

Posted on February 22, 2018
Death & dying, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Family ties, Guys, Minnesota, Women

…Just Eat More Popcorn and You'll Be Fine

Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on February 6, 2018
About celebrities, Books, Death & dying, Guys, Questions, Washington, Zombies

Got Any Bacon Chocolate?

Woman looking at chocolate display case: I don't want any of those. Those aren't death-on-a-stick enough.

Coco Flow
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Reiza

Posted on October 27, 2017
Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Oklahoma, Wishes, Women

Then My Crush Only Increased.

Ten-year old girl #1: He was pretty cute.
Ten-year old girl #2: I know! I had the biggest crush on him in third grade… until he died.

Santa Fe, New Mexico

Overheard by: Wait. What?

Posted on August 14, 2017
Death & dying, Feelings, Kids, New Mexico

But If I Had to Make a Guess It Would Be “Pussy and Blow”

Professor: What did our founding fathers want? Who cares? They’re dead.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on July 1, 2017
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Education, History, Ohio, Teachers, Wishes

I See Rich People

Mourner at funeral: Tut, one of the undertakers left his jacket on that gravestone.
Son of deceased man: We should check it for money… (whispering) Ghost money!

Graveyard
Cork
Ireland

Posted on February 28, 2017
Death & dying, Ireland, Magic, Money, Should have used a condom

You're Gonna Make Somebody an Annoying Little Wife, Harry

Roommate #1, watching Celtics playoff game: Is this the final four?
Roommate #2: No.
Roommate #1: Wait, when's March Madness?
Roommate #2: Are you fucking kidding me? Die.

UMass Dartmouth, Birch Hall
Massachusetts

Overheard by: Jason