Dude, We Sell That Here

Cop: Have you ever seen a burn victim autopsy?
Security guard chick: No.
Cop: Well, they cut into the guy, and it smelled like cooked meat. It actually made me hungry.

Wal-Mart
Richmond, Texas

Overheard by: Occam’s Lady Schick

Posted on July 10, 2015
Blue collar, Cops, Death & dying, Default, Food, Questions, Texas

Pretend He's Speaking German, If You Want to Be Able to Sleep at Night.

Little boy, in sing-song chant, marching around outdoor cafe: Die die, die die, die die, die die!

Santa Monica, California

Posted on July 9, 2015
California, Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, Words

The School Needs All Its Federal Funding

Student teacher: All right, guys, let's try that again. But this time with 30 to 40% less child death.

Clarksville, Maryland

Posted on July 7, 2015
Death & dying, Kids, Maryland, Students, Teachers

Hugging Is a Chick Thing, Dude

Dude #1, watching TV: That’s gross, man… He’s hugging a dead person.
Dude #2: It’s his brother man. What if your mom just died… Wouldn’t you hug her?
Dude #1: Well yeah. I guess I would…
Dude #2: Ewwwww.

Lake View Terrace, California

Posted on July 5, 2015
California, Death & dying, Family, Family ties, Friends, Guys, Questions

The New Party Game That's Sweeping Pennsylvania!

Girl to friend: Which would you rather die first, the dog or your dad?

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 5, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Pennsylvania, Questions

God Decides to Test Out a More Adorable Grim Reaper

Little boy, excitedly: Everybody's dying these days!

Hooksett, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Evee

Posted on July 2, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Guys, Kids, New Hampshire, Words

And Have an Orgy to Celebrate– Right, Mommy?

Seven-year-old daughter, confused: Mommy, why's the play called Murder on the Ides?
Mom: Well, it's about Julius Caesar, a Roman leader. See, in this country, when we don't like our leader anymore, we vote 'em out. But the Romans…
Seven-year-old daughter, excitedly: Oh! Oh! They kill them!!

Colgate University
Madison County, New York

Overheard by: Jake

Posted on July 1, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Default, Family ties, Girls, History, Kids, Moms, New York, Pop culture, Women

You Can't Tell the Serial Killers from the Doctors Without a Program

Sally's* uncle: How did Sally enjoy her night observing an ambulance crew?
Sally's mum: She said it was pretty boring. Not nearly enough blood and gore. She did get to kill a guy, though.
Sally's uncle: She what?
Sally's mum: They picked up a guy who was having a heart attack. The paramedic had Sally do something with the patient, and he died. She says it took him too long to die and she got bored waiting.

Restaurant
Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: KiwiBloke

Posted on July 1, 2015
Death & dying, Family, Health & Hygiene, New Zealand, Questions

The Kind Of Boy Who Grows Up to Be President

Eight-year-old boy playing Nintendo: Die! Die! Diediediediediediedie!
Older brother: Isn't that a little violent?
Eight-year-old: I'm goddam Kirby! I can do anything I want!

Houston, Texas

Posted on June 24, 2015
Death & dying, Default, Family, Games, Guys, Kids, Offers and requests, Questions, Texas, Violence

That's the Olive Garden's Call-Ahead Policy, Ma'am

Loud girl on cell: No embalming for me! I just wanna rot!

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on June 13, 2015
Death & dying, Girls, On the phone, Washington, DC, Wishes

Death & dying