Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It’s cute.
Guy: It’s a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
Train operator: The middle door of the third car of this train will not take you to a magical fantasy land where you meet Denzel Washington. It will merely take you to Grovesnor, like every other door on this train.
dcist.com
Excited preteen girl to dad: Look, dad, it's Hannah Montana!
Dad: Honey, we get out of the house so that we don't have to sit around and watch this all day long.
Macy's
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: AS
Guy: Wait, Langston Hughes was gay? Damn, now I gotta take him off my Facebook.
Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Little boy running inside out of a rainstorm: I am a sword of wetness!
First United Methodist Church
Pittsburg, Kansas
Hipster girl: I don't know, she just smells amazing. Her entire face smells like corn tortilla!
American Apparel
San Francisco, California
Waiter: Does anyone have a green Firebird?
20-something lesbian: I do, why?
Waiter: It's on fire in the parking lot!
(20-something lesbian and girlfriend go outside and return ten minutes later)
Waitress: Is everything okay?
20-something lesbian, matter of factly: Yeah, my car just caught fire. Can we have another plate?
Girlfriend, unaffected: Also, she ordered tempura.
Sushi Garden
Tucson, Arizona
Big and buff male barista to bigger and buffer male customer (excitedly): And then you can bring the tutu!
Maroubra Junction
Sydney
Australia
Girl: So everyone's like “why don't you just borrow one off someone?” but, like, who has a power drill just lying around? Anyway, then I'd have to go on YouTube to work out how to use it.
Melbourne
Australia
