…R Squared?

Physics teacher, pointing to complex problem on board: So what do you do?
Student in back: Cry.

St. Joseph High School
Michigan

Posted on October 19, 2017
Default

That's the Last Time We Party with the Dean

Frat boy to friends: So, I look at him and think, “I'm not such a good friend that I'm gonna help him here.” He was halfway off his air mattress and his tighty whities were soaked with either sweat or urine
Friend #1: I'd have kept away too. I hope it was sweat.
Friend #2: Nah, dude. He's a pisser.

Brown Line Train
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Jim

Posted on October 16, 2017
Body parts, Default, Frat boy types, Friends, Illinois, Pee, Train, Weirdness

You'll Look for Any Excuse to Reference That Song

Girl #1 (talking about her relationship): Yup, I'm pussy whipped. Or…what's the male equivalent for “pussy whipped”?
Girl #2: Well, there's that Ian Dury song that goes “hit me with your rhythm stick”, so maybe something along those lines.

Sabiá Bar
Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on October 15, 2017
Bars & Clubs, Brazil, Default, Girls, Music, Vagina, Words

I Suppose I Could Have One of My Concubines Answer Them, Though

Student: Professor, will you be able to answer e-mails while you are away, since our final is in a week?
Uncomfortable Japanese professor with strange British/Japanese accent: No, I will not be able to answer students’ e-mails because most of the time I come home I am drunk.
Students: [Incredulous silence. Laughter.]

Philosophy class
McGill University
Canadia

Overheard by: student who hated this prof until this comment…

Posted on October 15, 2017
Asians, Canadia, Class, Default, Drinking & drunks, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

For a Fungus

Girl sat in pub garden by canal, on date: So what's the difference between canal water and normal water then?
Guy, on date: Well, because canal boats are long and thin, they can't float in normal water. It's a special form of water that sir isaac newton made in the late seventeenth century – h3o. The extra hydrogen is in there because it makes the water more silky, and stops the canal boats from sinking.
Girl on date: Ooooh… I see. That makes sense (pointing at canal) hey look at that duck!
Guy on date: That's not a duck, its a quorn.
Girl: Quorn? Like the food? I thought that was vegetarian?
Guy, totally straight faced: It is vegetarian. The quorn is a vegetarian relation of the quail.
Girl: Ooooh… It's cute!

Rural Pub, Warwickshire, England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on October 14, 2017
Default

The CIA's Predicting a Win for the USSR

Waitress to guy wearing a Soviet hockey jersey: CCCP? Who's that?
Customer: It's the Soviet Union.
Waitress: Oh, are they playing the Caps tonight?

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on October 14, 2017
Customers, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Girls, History, Names, Questions, Stupidity

Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa