Curly-haired brunette: So how many sex partners did you say you'd had?
Straight-haired brunette: I think I said ten.
Curly-haired brunette: That's cool.
Straight-haired brunette: Ten in the past year, I mean. Obviously.
Curly-haired brunette, laughing: Obviously! I've seen you having sex with more people than that.
Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogs McNasty
Girl to friend: You know what I was thinking? We always say girls who get pregnant are white trash. But I really thought about this, and we have sex. We could get pregnant. You're not white trash!
College
New Jersey
Mother: What time do you need to get up tomorrow?
Teen daughter: 8.30.
Mother: Well, I'm going to be leaving a little before that.
Teen daughter, offhandedly: “Wake me up/before you go-go.”
Mother: I will kill you.
Aurora, Colorado
Girl sitting in front of lecture hall to professor, very matter-of-factly: People don't really use adverbs anymore.
Evans Hall, UC Berkeley
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: the only one left
20-something girl: Fuck peter! I waxed my vag for you!
Toronto
Wine girl #1: We should go get tattoos!
Wine girl #2: We totally should, I'll be divorced by morning!
Open Mic Night
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: only if it's my name on her ass
Girl: Yeah…after he got out of prison he moved back in with us. He was always flirting with me and once tried to make out with me.
Guy: Ummmmmm, did you tell your mom?
Girl: No, I didn't mind, I thought he was cute.
Jeffersonville, Indiana
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It’s cute.
Guy: It’s a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
Train operator: The middle door of the third car of this train will not take you to a magical fantasy land where you meet Denzel Washington. It will merely take you to Grovesnor, like every other door on this train.
dcist.com
