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Drunk girl to hot guy in “if you lick them they will come”: Nice shirt!
Hot guy, turning around: How about you “come” with me tonight, baby?

Downtown Orlando, Florida

Waitress talking in the kitchen: I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile. (now sings loudly) I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile!

International House of Pancakes
Kansas

Probably Mr. Marcus Doesn't, Either

Girl, pulling up in her SUV: Hey, Marcus.
Guy #1: Hey.
Girl: How ya doin'?
Guy #1: Good, good.
(girl drives away)
Guy #2: Why'd she call you Marcus?
Guy #1: I don't know that bitch.

Newark, Delaware

(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?

Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio

Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks

Girl: All she does is walk around and get knocked up.

Parking Garage
Fort Lauderdale, Florida

Overheard by: hhmm…

Girl: I woke up an I was in her bed! Then I went home and I had lost five pounds!

Cambridge, Ma

Clerk to another: And I woke up two days later by the pool, with Elvis.

Campmor
Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Russ

Girl #1: So what do you think of her boyfriend?
Girl #2: I can see his underwear through his pants.

Tapas Teatro
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Underwear Moderator

Agent: "he's funny, hot, looks like a terrorist, and fucks like a rockstar… Yes I did just say that. Book him"

Greenleaf, Century City

Hippie, addressing group: If you can get you guitar to play music at the same frequency as telepathy, you'll make millions!

Portland, Oregon