Your Editors Are Still Giggling about “Beaverton”

Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!

Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on July 22, 2015
Animals, Default, Friends, Kids, Offers and requests, Oregon, Sexuality, Wishes

Which Just Means It’s Ripe

Girl on cell: She said that she used her vibrator so much last week, she thought her vagina was going to swell up and fall off.

Walmart
Atlanta, Georgia

Posted on July 21, 2015
Default, Fears, Georgia, Girls, Masturbation, Stores, Vagina, Women

…in Piñata Form?

Nicely dressed guy: So you had Michael Jackson in your backyard?

Ginger Thai
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Revision

Posted on July 21, 2015
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He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

So Failing You Would Be Against My Religion

Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.

University of Wisconsin

Posted on July 21, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Teachers, Wisconsin, Words

…Like “Malaria” or “Frank Langella”

Teen boy: You mean Ethiopia is a country? I thought it was a disease!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: still laughing

Posted on July 21, 2015
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And No Cutting, Girls

Exasperated train driver over PA: If you want to kill yourself, don't do it on my train. I've had enough!

Town Hall Station
Sydney
Australia

Posted on July 21, 2015
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And Megatron Is Totally My Ex-Girlfriend!

Transformers-loving college student: I mean, there’s just so much symbolism in that movie — take the fact that Optimus Prime transforms into a truck. He’s, like, Everyman!

University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I never thought of it that way

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Movies, Students, Washington

Like Putting Mayo on French Fries

Jock on cell: I bet he’s a lame fuck. He wouldn’t do any of that weird stuff you like.

Barton Springs Pool
Austin, Texas

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Insults, Jocks, Kink, On the phone, Texas

Kept Gagging Into My Wide-open Mouth

Guy: So Jeff's cousin came out.
Girl: I knew he was gay! He's like, the only guy I didn't make out with on New Year's.
Guy: You totally made out with him!
Girl: Yeah, but he wasn't into it.

Ramat Aviv
Israel

Posted on July 21, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Europe, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Holidays, Sexuality

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