Girl #1: So you got drunk in a church?
Girl #2: Yeah, sort of. There's a bar in the basement.
Girl #1: But isn't that, like, sacrilegious? I mean, isn't slosh one of the seven deadly sins?
Girl #2: Uh, I think you mean “sloth.”
Ronnie's Local
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: LB
College girl on cell: You're making a valid argument. It sounds completely sober!
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl on phone: Oh my god, I seriously didn't think anyone could act like that unless they were on something! (pause) I know! He was slurring his speech, staggering all over the place, and talking about Romeo and Juliet!
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: one of these things is not like the other…
Three-year-old: Pick me up some cigarettes! I need a smoke!
Dad: What did you just say!?
Kansas
Son, yelling from back of bus: Mom, what color is Jewish?
Mother: (sinks lower into her seat, pretends not to hear)
Son, yelling again: Well…is it white? Is it tan?
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Freda
Bus preacher: Prime time bingo is the key to hell.
Kingston
Jamaica
Mom: He'll have chocolate ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and gummy bears.
Five-year-old son: But I want the blue ice cream!
Mom: Honey, the blue is cotton candy ice cream. You can't have it…it's pure sugar.
Coldstone Creamery
Carlsbad, California
Overheard by: Amused Employee
American Apparel-wearing teen: I bet if the Jonas Brothers were indie, you'd totally dig them. Like same music, just less known.
Toronto
Canadia
Flight attendant, during speech: There is also an overhead call button, that if you misuse, will eject you from the aircraft.
Flight go Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hikari
