Don't Stop 'til After Your Story's Climax

AP English teacher: Now, remember kids, what do I always say you all should do?
Student: Procreate?
AP English teacher: No! Well, eh…I do say that too, but I meant “proofread!”

Northport, Long Island
New York

Posted on April 23, 2009
Advice, Default, Kids, New York, Questions, Teachers, Words

Then He Juggled Them While Drinking a Glass Of Water

Hottied-out college girl: So I was, like, drunk, and I fell down on the bed, and he helped me up with his balls. (friends stare uncomfortably) What? That's not a euphemism for sex! He *literally* helped me up with his balls.

University of Delaware

Posted on April 22, 2009
Balls, Colleges & Universities, Default, Delaware, Drinking & drunks, Euphemisms, Girls, Sex, Students

And Wrote “Blow Job” in the Comments Field

Guy on cell phone: I think it would look really bad if you gave me a check for $1000.

University Library
Montreal
Canadia

Posted on April 22, 2009
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Money, Offers and requests

What? I'm Bendy.

Boy #1: Does this taste good?
Girl #1: Yes, it doesn't taste plasticky at all!
Boy #2: Tastes like penis.

Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: meaw

Posted on April 21, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Penis, Questions

One With Special Training in Fashion Emergency Medicine

Teen girl in stall #1, reading: “Press for assistance…” Oh, Crystal, they have a press for assistance button in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: What?
Teen girl in stall #1: You know when you're in the hospital and you got that little button to press for when you need the nurse to come? They have one in here!
Teen girl in stall #2: Shut up!

Dressing Room
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Alicia K.

Posted on April 21, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions, Teens, Texas

Why Norway Isn't Known for Its Music

Teacher: Let's all play a c.
(music class plays a horrible, off-key c)
Teacher: Without the instruments, then.

High School
Oslo
Norway

Overheard by: Jorunn

Posted on April 20, 2009
Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Europe, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers

It's Been Too Long Since I've Played Magic: The Gathering

Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks…
Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks?
Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing.
Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in.

Capitol Hill South Metro Station
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Yoda