Very large man, staring down at his junk in front of urinal: Come on now, baby, you can do it, come on…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Dan
Very large man, staring down at his junk in front of urinal: Come on now, baby, you can do it, come on…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Dan
Writer: That guy is so small he could get a job as a stunt midget.
Illustrator: Is that a real profession? I would have thought they did their own stunts.
Greenville Airport
Texas
Overheard by: Mike
Ditzy girl: I was so scared! Like, really, really scared. I was like: “please be a virgin, please be a virgin!”
Eugene, Oregon
Asian girl, holding out fist: Pound it?
Queer: Do I look like someone who pounds it?
Asian girl, giggling: Ummmm…
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Kole
College student: I think I hate sleep more than I hate Snapple.
University of Delaware
Smithie: Why do I go to college if my only ambition is to be a constantly drunk trophy wife?
Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Colleen
Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.
Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey
Father to son in stroller: Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall; Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; Humpty Dumpty hired a great lawyer; Humpty Dumpty sued the pants of the wall maker.
K Street
Washington, DC
Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: “this girl is in serious need of some fanny,” but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.
Bookstore
Liverpool
England
