Professor: I know, I know. Worst exam period ever. You don't want to be there. I don't want to be there. I'm not sure how we got that one…maybe the dean has a daughter and I was drinking and I said something. I don't know.
Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Girl to another standing outside business office: So did you smack her titties?
College Building
Wisconsin
Lawyer to another: So if you're ever having surgery on a limb, make sure they mark it with a marker.
Toronto
Canadia
Little boy at ice cream parlor: Uh…can I have um, little gummy bears?
Impatient dad: Oh, that's great. You invented something the store doesn't have.
Westchester, New York
Overheard by: Griffin
Woman #1: He looks like Leonardo DiCaprio.
Woman #2: Niiiice. Wait, hot Leonardo from The Departed or crazy Leonardo from The Aviator?
Woman #1: Uhhh.
Woman #2: Or the mental kid from Gilbert Grape? Or Leonardo from Titanic? Ha, this is fun!
Woman #1: Actually, he looks more like Matt Damon.
Auckland
New Zealand
Girl on subway to friend: It'd be weird to have sex with a girl.
Friend: Yeah, you wouldn't know where everything goes.
Girl: Nothing would fit. (pause) This is probably not a subway conversation.
Toronto
Canadia
Nanny to five-year-old: Look, Stephen, there's a kitty!
Stephen, petting cat: Since boys have short hair and girls have long hair, then this kitty is a boy.
Nanny: Maybe not. Boys can have long hair and girls can have short hair too.
Stephen: Then how do you tell if it's a girl or a boy?
Nanny: How 'bout some ice cream?
Washington, DC
Serious college boy to friend: I was too busy to wipe my ass this morning.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/397614032/ill-be-in-the-other-room.html
Overheard by: but you weren't too busy for the preceding action?
American guy carrying cake box: And the 911 operator just hears “you fucking whore!” and the line goes dead. Seven hours later, the cops show up.
Incredulous Asian girl: And they were all dead?
American guy: Oh yeah, all of 'em were dead. That's why you're much better off being middle class in this country, health-wise.
London
England
Overheard by: Jai
Blonde Vanderbilt freshman: It literally was, like, the best essay I've ever written. I mean, it was awesome. My mom helped me a lot.
Nashville, Tennessee
