Upset 20-something girl: I don't like things where things are things inside of things!
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Zywiec
Upset 20-something girl: I don't like things where things are things inside of things!
Drexel University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Zywiec
Girl to friend: I can’t believe I fell asleep next to your vagina. I woke up and my face was next to your brick wall. [Kisses friend.] I love your brick wall.
Caribou Coffee
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Mom: Can you sit there and be mommy's good boy just a little longer? We're almost done shopping.
Boy: No. I'm not your good boy. I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh you aren't? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I'm not your big boy! I'm not your big boy, and I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh really, then what are you?
Boy: I'm a grandma!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/read-too-much-shirley-maclaine.html
Overheard by: kari
Philosophy professor, proving his argument: Therefore, if I don’t get a little crazy, then I’m never gonna survive.
Michigan State University
Michigan
Overheard by: sjshock
Talkative maintenance dude: You ever hear that saying, “putting a square peg in a round hole”?
Less talkative maintenance dude: (nods)
Talkative maintenance dude: Well, this morning I shit a square peg out a round hole.
Less talkative maintenance dude: (winces)
Tampa General Hospital
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Why did you eat a…oh never mind.
Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?
Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Deathly Confused
Girl #1: Ask me what flavor my scarf is.
Girl #2: What flavor is your scarf?
Girl #1: Beef noodle!
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Preppy girl: I woke up this morning and my legs were so sore! And then I couldn't remember why they were hurting! I was so worried, especially since I went out last night and Wednesday nights are usually when I stay in. And I couldn't remember anything that happened. But then I thought, “Oh, wait, I went to the gym yesterday. That must be it.”
Lawrence Hall, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York
Drunken fat woman, outside pub, shouting at drunken man on crutches: What was you thinkin' you cunt!? There's shit all over the seat!
Drunken man on crutches: Shuddup!
Drunken fat woman: You sprayed piss everywhere! No wonder they threw us out! You useless cunt! What the fuck was you thinkin' takin' a shit on the toilet seat?
Drunken man on crutches: It's not my fault you fucking cunt!
Drunken fat woman: You're the one what shat on the seat, you dirty cunt, and pissed all up the walls! Now we're barred! Where the fuck are we going to drink now?!
(drunken argument is audible for the next few streets).
Leamington Spa, England
Overheard by: Bleep
Guy #1 in pub: So what about Ellen*, then?
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Well she has pretty big tits… Were they as good uncovered as they look covered?
Guy #2: Oh… Well, they were a bit saggy, but still pretty spectacular.
Guy #1: Ha.
Guy #2: Mate, I don't care. I jizzed all over them… And on her face too.
Guy #1: (laughs)
Guy #2: She had her mouth open, too.
Guy #1: Dirty girl…
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
