Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?
Borders
Tucson, Arizona
Guy #1: Hey, cool! Harry Potter bookmarks! You think they have one for Hufflepuff?
Guy #2: Probably not.
Guy #1: Oh… Do you think it’s because nobody cares?
Borders
Tucson, Arizona
Little girl #1 (holding a Patrick Star toy): Mommy, mommy! Can I get this?
Scary mom: No.
Little girl #1: Why?
Scary mom: Because last time we bought one of those was the day you had your seizure.
Little girl #1 (running around the store and flapping her arms): My seizure, my seizure!
Little girl #2 (also running and flapping): Your seizure, your seizure!
Kings Island, Ohio
Male student to girlfriend: Your body is uneven!
George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia
Mother: Do you want diabetes?
Son: No, I just wanna eat candy!
Mother: Well, candy gives you diabetes, so you can't have any more.
Son, after thinking for a moment: I'm okay with diabetes!
Win-Co
Meridian, Idaho
Overheard by: Gracie
Girl on cell: Kenny wants to go to hooters. (pause) Well, he killed a deer, so it takes longer.
Williamsburg, Virginia
20-something hot chick to friend: Ohmigod, there goes Reed… With a beer and our CEO's baby.
Las Vegas
Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I'm bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
Guy #1, walking into beer garden: What does “drunk in public” mean exactly?
Guy #2: I think it's kind of self-explanatory.
Columbia, Missouri
Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!
University Campus
Austin, Texas
