Diet & weight

Wife of fat guy: Y’know, honey, I heard on Oprah that every 35 pounds you lose, you gain an inch in penis length.
Fat guy: I know I could stand to lose 70 pounds, but what am I gonna do with a 22-inch dick?

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardincali/

Ecstatic woman: Take me back to the 60s–when I was skinny!

Herman's Hermits Concert
Alexandria, Virginia

Overheard by: serpent queen

Loud woman to friend: So, I’m seeing all these people with waistband numbers in the triple digits, and I wonder how they stay in such a shape, y’know?

Norwood, Massachusetts

Really skinny sorority girl: I paid my rent and then I spent the rest, $700, on this new Louis Vuitton (squeals and hugs the purse). But now I have 30 bucks to last a whole month. Looks like I'll be dating for dinner or eating crackers.
Sorority friend: You spent twice as much on your bag as you did your rent! At least you paid your rent on time! Don't worry, you'll find dates. That purse is totally worth it!
Really skinny sorority girl: I know, right, I should just live in my purse. I think that is why married women get fat: they can finally afford to eat. You know my ass is getting fat when I get married.

IHOP
Dallas, Texas

Bimbette on cell: Oh, okay, so she can’t gain any more weight. That should be easy — she’s only at the beginning of the pregnancy. She just has to stop eating.

Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Ultra-skinny hipster chick: I've been eating the same quiche for weeks.

Portland, Maine

Overheard by: Koch

Old lady with husband talking to head usher: We are in Row C, Seats 22 and 23. Ummm… Do you think we could move our seats? It’s just that the lady next to us is rather large, and she is overflowing onto my husband, who is overflowing on to me…

Thousand Islands Play House
Gananoque, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Shmemily

Wife eating cheeseburger: I know what my New Year’s resolution is going to be…
Distracted husband: To lose weight?
Wife: What? No! Why would you say that?! Do you think I’m getting fat?
Husband: Oh! No, no, no — you’re not fat. You’re perfect! I love you so much just the way you are.
Wife: Whatever. I better be getting a good fucking Christmas present, and you definitely won’t be seeing me naked for a very long time.

Wendy’s
New Hartford, New York

Teen girl, incredulously: But you don't call a fattie “fat”!
Teen guy: I know!

Australia

Overheard by: PCGoneWrong

Skinny girl: My sister is on a diet now, I don't like it. First she's taller than me, but that's okay, I got over it. I just don't want her to be skinnier than me.
Guy friend: You should be happy for her.
Skinny girl: No way! I'm below that.

Vancouver
Canadia