Guy: Yo, Jimmy*! You’re doing a great job!
Jimmy, backing a U-Haul out of a tiny alley: I’m totally drunk!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/thank-g-d-for-aa.html
Overheard by: anonymous
Guy: Yo, Jimmy*! You’re doing a great job!
Jimmy, backing a U-Haul out of a tiny alley: I’m totally drunk!
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/thank-g-d-for-aa.html
Overheard by: anonymous
Drunk guy: Can I get a pack of cigarettes?
Trucker: Can I see some ID?
Drunk guy: Which one? 21 or 19?
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-3-last.html
Overheard by: jack
Male bartender: Why'd you open a new grenadine? We have an open one right here. See? Cherry drips all over it.
Female bartender: I got your cherry drips right here. (pause) Wait. Never mind.
St. Louis Park, Minnesota
Overheard by: Whelan
Drunk guy: Do you hate me?
Drunk girl: No, no, I really don't.
Drunk guy: I always thought you did.
Drunk girl: No. (pause) I mean you're not my favorite person, but I like you fine.
Drunk guy: So we're friends?
Drunk girl: Definitely friends.
Drunk guy: Hug? To celebrate our new-found friendship?
Drunk girl: Sure (hugs him)
Drunk guy: Awesome! I'm so happy we're friends!
Drunk girl: Me too! (pause) I'm so drunk right now…
Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: Sarah
Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did…
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Toddler in cart: Look, Daddy — wine!
Dad: Yes, that’s the wine section.
Toddler in cart: Mommy always buys lots of wine!
Dad: Yes. Yes, she does…
Wine department, Quality Food Center
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: anniebanannie
Hungover guy #1: Dude, you smell like alcohol!
Hungover guy #2: Bro, I feel like alcohol.
Elmore, Alabama
Girl: Dude, she digs you, why don't you ask her out?
Guy: She's fat.
Girl: You are so fucking pretentious and shallow.
Guy: I'm okay with that. It means I only fuck hotties.
Girl: We fucked, does that mean you think I'm a hottie?
Guy: No, that just means I was drunk and you were willing.
Girl: Why am I friends with you?
Guy: I have no idea.
Denver, Colorado
20-something girl on phone: Okay, how much did she drink? Okay. (pause) Well, can you wake her up? No? (pause) Okay, see, but I don't think it would be a good idea to give her some cocaine.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: frink
Drunk girl: I love how I come home trashed every night!
Boyfriend: And trip on the same step…
Drunk girl: [Trips] Fucking step.
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: JP
