Security guard: What do you do with a mailbox? You throw it in the middle of the woods!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Elaine
Security guard: What do you do with a mailbox? You throw it in the middle of the woods!
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Elaine
Ice cream lady behind counter: Spartacus?
Man running to get ice cream: I am Spartacus!
Oberweiss
Oak Park, Illinois
Tour guide: Where is your group going next?
Tourist: The Vatican.
Tour guide: Oh? You are lucky, the Pope is not there.
Florence
Italy
Overheard by: Burlabo
Waitress talking in the kitchen: I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile. (now sings loudly) I'm going to come back there and smack you till you smile!
International House of Pancakes
Kansas
Clerk to another: And I woke up two days later by the pool, with Elvis.
Campmor
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!
Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Broke Commuter
Employee: Any plans that start with ‘knickerbockers’ and end with ‘amaretto’ sound great to me!
Barnes & Noble
Orland Park, Illinois
Overheard by: me, too
Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?
Utah
Salesclerk: Your total is $1.81. [Into her cellphone.] Don’t worry, girl, I am listening to yo’ hideous self!
Lawrence, Kansas
Overheard by: kerblammerz
Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.
Chicago, Illinois
