Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!
Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England
Guy to friend: And then she said, “I am not even half the man she used to be.”
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Well, she WAS born in Germany
Woman talking on phone to friend: I have a real thing for little boys. I never used to…
Train Leaving Brighton
England
Overheard by: Wishing she hadn’t tuned in at that point
Girl to friend: So, how many skirts do you know that are made for the figure of a man?
Priestley College
Warrington
England
Overheard by: RuncornianAsh
Dad: Later, we need to find grandma a boyfriend.
Seven-year-old son: Grandma already has a boyfriend, though.
Dad: Really? Who?
Seven-year-old son: She's married to granddad!
Dad: No, no, your other grandma.
Seven-year-old son: Oh yeah, she really needs a boyfriend.
Train
Manchester
England
Young girl: So what do you think I should do?
Girlfriend: I spent most of last night eating cheese out of a tube. I really don't think I'm the best person to ask for advice about your love life.
London
England
Overheard by: LondonCoffee
Girl #1: So, yeah, I was just going to set the hoover to suck, and use that.
Girl #2: Do hoovers suck?
Oxford
England
Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
