Guy #1: I think I fucked up my chance with Jen.
Guy #2: Why? what did you do?
Guy #1: Well she’s religious, and she sent me a text today that says, “I get real emotional on Good Friday.” so I write back, ‘I get real emotional on filet-o-fish Fridays.’ She hasn’t responded since.
Burbank, California
Overheard by: James Jameson
High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.
Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand
Liberal student, passing photo of cute baby: Aw… [realizing it’s an ad for campus pro-life group] … Ugh.
Princeton University
New Jersey
Bitter guy: Girls don’t care about men, so I can’t relate to them. And men only care about sports, food, video games, and women. I do like to eat, but I hate women. I don’t like sports at all, and I’m soooo good at video games that other people can’t play with me because I am just too awesome.
Girl sitting at the table with him: Yeah…
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Man on cell: I wouldn’t worry about her though, she’s dead.
Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: catherine
Yuppie teen girl #1: I’m sooo glad it didn’t happen when those boys were looking at the restaurant!
Yuppie teen girl #2: Your face is totally like a target for their… like… stuff.
Hotel elevator
South Carolina
Overheard by: wtf are you talking about?
Professor, about PowerPoint: You guys don’t have this slide in your notes… Hahaha!
UC Davis Vet School
California
Guy shouting out dorm window: We’ve got dicks! Yeahhh! Woo-hoo!
University of California, Davis
California
Hobo #1, after growling at passenger: I had to growl at someone.
Hobo #2: Yup.
Seattle, Washington
