Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.
Miami University
Florida
Fag hag, about friend's boyfriend: Well, at least he has a nice guitar.
Fag: No one notices a guy's guitar on the first date…except maybe you.
Fag hag: Hey, at least someone fingered my g-string recently.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Ari
Hipster to another, after cigarette drag: So what do you think about heroin?
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: PJ
Girl to friend: Well, I guess I could, but my titties would hurt.
Theater Rehearsal
Bradenton, Florida
Overheard by: Hollie Corbitt
Teen girl #1: Hey, you know the chubby girl in chorus, right?
Teen girl #2: Elizabeth?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m talking about the whale.
(teen girl #1 makes elephant noises)
Teen girl #2: The one that laughs like a jackal?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, her!
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, I love her.
Teen girl #1: Me too! She’s great…
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Drama Eavesdropper
Lost mother with child to employee: Excuse me, sir? Where can I find the exit?
Employee (bluntly): Um, you have to buy something before you can leave.
Lost mother with child: (blank stare)
Sam Ash
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Stole something instead
Fat black chick: Yo, real women got curves, nigga.
Black queer: Yeah, bitch, curves. You only got one big curve! (traces circle in air)
Bus
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Dropper of Eaves
Little girl: Where’s Ben*?
Father: He’s in heaven, honey.
Little girl: Still?!
Preschool
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Professor: So, the creation of Stonehenge is a good example of how a bunch of people can do something.
Palm Bay, Florida
