Well, We Do Have a Couple Of Pre-op Trannies

Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.

University of Miami
Florida

Posted on July 18, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Penis, Questions

Even If You Do Look Adorable in Communist Colors

Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff…

University of Central Florida

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on July 16, 2015
Advice, Florida, Guys, On the phone, Politics, Pride

I've Provided You All with Maps to Denny's and the Free Clinic

Professor: Okay, so everyone get your papers out. If you don't have your papers here with you then you can just leave. (class mumbles in disgust) That's right, take the walk of shame. Like you just got laid at a frat party, take the walk of shame.

Miami University
Florida

Posted on July 14, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Feelings, Florida, Offers and requests

Sweetie, You Weren't Even Born Then

Loud lady to friends over dinner: So how do you all feel about 69?

Ybor City
Tampa, Florida

Posted on July 10, 2015
BJs, Default, Feelings, Florida, Questions, Women

So What If It Was During an Airport Body-Cavity Search?

Fag hag, about friend's boyfriend: Well, at least he has a nice guitar.
Fag: No one notices a guy's guitar on the first date…except maybe you.
Fag hag: Hey, at least someone fingered my g-string recently.

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Ari

Posted on July 6, 2015
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Fag hags, Florida, Gays, Relationships, Sexuality

Some DEA Plants Don't Even Try.

Hipster to another, after cigarette drag: So what do you think about heroin?

Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: PJ

Posted on July 2, 2015
Drugs, Florida, Hipsters, Questions

File These Documents? Really?

Girl to friend: Well, I guess I could, but my titties would hurt.

Theater Rehearsal
Bradenton, Florida

Overheard by: Hollie Corbitt

Posted on June 27, 2015
Florida, Friends, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Rack

We Should Interview Her for That Vacancy in the Ugly Friend Department

Teen girl #1: Hey, you know the chubby girl in chorus, right?
Teen girl #2: Elizabeth?
Teen girl #1: No, I’m talking about the whale.
(teen girl #1 makes elephant noises)
Teen girl #2: The one that laughs like a jackal?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, her!
Teen girl #2: Oh my god, I love her.
Teen girl #1: Me too! She’s great…

Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Drama Eavesdropper

Posted on June 27, 2015
Default, Feelings, Florida, Friends, Girls, Insults, Questions

Joking in Florida Is Always Risky

Lost mother with child to employee: Excuse me, sir? Where can I find the exit?
Employee (bluntly): Um, you have to buy something before you can leave.
Lost mother with child: (blank stare)

Sam Ash
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Stole something instead

Posted on June 17, 2015
Default, Employees, Florida, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Shopping, Stores, Weirdness

Just Call Me Tweedle Diva

Fat black chick: Yo, real women got curves, nigga.
Black queer: Yeah, bitch, curves. You only got one big curve! (traces circle in air)

Bus
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Dropper of Eaves

Posted on June 14, 2015
Black people, Body parts, Bragging, Comebacks, Florida, Gays