Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.
Gainesville, Florida
Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!
Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Broke Commuter
Little girl: Mommy, can I have a bubble bath?
Mother: No, it makes your vagina hurt.
Plantation, Florida
Overheard by: i guess that's a valid reason.
20-something female: He comes back Sunday. Oh! And Joe is giving me free birth control!
Orlando, Florida
Ditzy American girl: You're from Scotland?
Scottish girl: Yeah.
Ditzy American girl: So do they have like… Ducks over there?
Orlando, Florida
Waitress: Are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving tonight?
Woman with thick Canadian accent: Oh, no, we're going to go home and worship Satan, if that's okay with you.
Cracker Barrel
Orlando, Florida
Lanky black guy making sandwiches: Man, I don’t understand them girls with long nails! How they clean they ass and they uterus?
Subway, University of South Florida
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Don’t make my sandwich with those
Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.
University of Miami
Florida
Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff…
University of Central Florida
Overheard by: Michelle
