20-something guy in the middle of a group: Guys, guys. I've got big news.
(group quiets down)
20-something guy: I just got a text from Ross. It says “Let's put it this way: they've stopped the ride, are cleaning up my vomit, and I'm leaving in a wheelchair. Spaceship Earth.”
(group cheers)
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Guy to girl: So when you're wearing a tampon, is it like having sex 24/7?
University of Florida
Mother admonishing her child for sticking his head through the bars in a fence: You do not put your head through anything. Ever.
Disney World
Florida
Overheard by: Becca
Drunk girl to hot guy in “if you lick them they will come”: Nice shirt!
Hot guy, turning around: How about you “come” with me tonight, baby?
Downtown Orlando, Florida
Girl: All she does is walk around and get knocked up.
Parking Garage
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: hhmm…
Girlfriend: I'm gonna get a black wig and a skirt, and I'm putting body-glitter on you and doing your hair like you're in 90210 and you're going as Edward. It'll be like ironic.
Boyfriend: I'm gonna put some mayonnaise on my pants and go as that “jizzed in my pants” guy.
Girlfriend: No, you're not.
Gainesville, Florida
Driver, with boat in tow: How much?
Toll booth operator, in a sing-songy tone: Seven-fiftyyyyy!
Driver: What?
Toll booth operator, sing-songy: Highway robberyyyyy!
Toll Booth, Florida Turnpike
Sunrise, Florida
Overheard by: Broke Commuter
Little girl: Mommy, can I have a bubble bath?
Mother: No, it makes your vagina hurt.
Plantation, Florida
Overheard by: i guess that's a valid reason.
20-something female: He comes back Sunday. Oh! And Joe is giving me free birth control!
Orlando, Florida
