Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
Suit: Hey, Rich, will you eat a cheese steak? It’s like a salad, except it’s a cheese steak.
25 Hudson Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Woman on cell: Dude, you guys drink milk like cows!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Preppy chick to friend: …and I was thinking of Puppy Chow for dessert tonight because, you know, it's easy to make.
Ohio State University
Overheard by: GameBoy Kid
Dude: Eggs are just chicken menstruation.
Tired guy: Best menstruation I’ve ever had!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/19/best-oh-and-only-forgot-the-only/
Overheard by: douglas
Little girl in cart: Cheetos! That's my favorite snack!
Mom: No! Fruit is your favorite snack, remember?
Flemmington, New Jersey
Guy on one side of the store: So how's your friend who has cancer?
Woman in queue, thirty feet away: Oh, she's getting better!
Guy: Really?
Woman: Yeah, they put her on this herbal diet and now she's getting better.
Guy: Wow.
Woman: Yeah, it's amazing.
Guy: So what sort of cancer is it?
Woman: I'm not sure…
Guy: Is it terminus cancer?
Woman: Yeah, I think that's it.
Guy: Terminus cancer, yeah?
Woman: Yeah, yeah, but she's getting better.
London
England
Overheard by: Irongate
Sorority girl, walking from class with a friend: Yeah, so they made us cook naked.
Kent State University
Kent, Ohio
Grandmother: So my friend gave me dog biscuits for my birthday.
Teen girl: But you don't have a dog.
Grandmother: She knew I would appreciate them, dear.
Teen girl: And it isn't your birthday.
Grandmother: That doesn't matter. I was going to save them for the Boxer that young man brings around the home, but I got hungry around noon.
Teen girl: Oh no. You didn't.
Grandmother: What? It's not as if I ate them plain. I boiled a cup of coffee and dipped them.
Frammingham, Massachusetts
