The Best I Can Do Is Some Croutons and a Spanking

Drunk girl: I hope I get my ass kicked for eating this salad!

Houston, Texas

Posted on April 14, 2019
Drunks, Food, Texas

This Is Quite an Impressive Resume

Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!

BART Station
Pittsburg, California

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on March 14, 2019
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Public transportation, Sensory experiences, Women

Kinda Like Lox on a Jew

Weird chick: I bet tuna would taste really good on a Cuban!

The Loop
Florida

Overheard by: Pilbur

Posted on March 14, 2019
Chicks, Florida, Food

When My God Fills Me Up, I Gain Five Pounds.

Lady #1: This cheese is sooo good.
Lady #2: Mmm, it is nice.
Lady #1: No, but it is really good. I mean, cheese is just amazing. I mean, it’s not like you grow it or anything — it’s man-made, from just milk. And a bit of mold! It’s incredible!
Lady #2: Wow, you really love it, don’t you?
Lady #1: Cheese is my religion.

Palazzo Versace, Gold Coast
Queensland
Australia

Posted on March 12, 2019
Australia, Food, Ladies who lunch

We’d Be Wide Awake, but Our Cards Would Be Stained

Guy playing magic card game with a bunch of friends: All I’m saying is that somewhere, in an alternate universe, there is a table producing coffee!

Clark College
Vancouver, Washington

Posted on March 7, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Food, Philosophy, Technology, Washington, Weirdness

Invented by Mister Newton.

Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.

Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island