Now Everyone Calls Him “The Puree Papa”

Student: Because my dad didn't consider mac and cheese or ground beef as food that you could chew.

Biola University
La Mirada, California

Overheard by: lydia parsons

Posted on June 6, 2011
California, Character, Family ties, Food, Students

…And Nobody Bakes Like the Jews, Am I Right, Avi?

Guy in leopard-print cowboy hat to woman holding homemade desserts and guy in yarmulke: I've been eating nothing but crap all week and every time I say I don't want to eat anymore! Someone put a brownie in front of me!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Burbgirl

Posted on June 4, 2011
Food, Gripes, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests

…Of American Debt

Professor: China's a sausage fest.

Murray State University
Kentucky

Posted on May 29, 2011
Food, Geography, Kentucky, Teachers, Weirdness

…My Salty, Greasy, Utterly Empty Life

Stoned girl looking at bottom of empty chip bag: Ugh, this is why I hate life.

Elk Grove, California

Overheard by: MelBee

Posted on May 28, 2011
California, Druggies, Feelings, Food, Gripes

Which Is Why I'm Carrying This Dagger

Adorable eight-year-old girl: I would do anything for a bagel… except shoot someone.

Ardmore, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: was a hungry 8 yr old once too

Posted on May 20, 2011
Food, Kids, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Violence

That's Your Answer to Everything

Man #1, after hurricane: I'm trying to decide if I should hook up my freezer to the generator or wait a while longer.
Man #2: Well, squeeze your meat, and see if it's hard.

Houston, Texas

Posted on May 20, 2011
Advice, Food, Guys, Texas, Weirdness

What Kind Of Sorry-Ass Man Drinks at Applebees?

Loud drunk man at bar to attractive woman leaving restaurant: Can I take you out to McDonald's sometime?
Woman: No, I'm married. Thanks for the offer, though.
Drunk man: Married? Well, shoot! Where's your husband at then?
Woman: He's working.
Drunk man: Working? Well, hell! I work sometimes too!

Applebee's
Beaufort, South Carolina

Posted on May 8, 2011
Drunks, Etiquette, Food, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Relationships, South Carolina, Women

Why I Stoped Watching Kirstie Alley's Reality Show

Woman on phone: Girl, I just ate a fat-ass quesadilla, and now I feel fat as fuck.

San Francisco, California

Posted on May 4, 2011
California, Diet & weight, Feelings, Food, On the phone, Women

Only One Of Us Actually Uses Our Noodle.

Twin guy #1: This pillow smells like my dreams!
Girl, smelling pillow: Beef Ramen noodles?
Twin guy #1: I am awesome at dreaming!
Twin guy #2: This is why I hate that we have the same face.

Milford Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Layla

Posted on March 31, 2011
Connecticut, Feelings, Food, Girls, Guys, Sensory experiences

I'm All, “Cholesterol Be Damned!”

Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Posted on March 22, 2011
Canadia, Crimes, Food, Guys, On the phone, Shopping, Weirdness

Food