Food

Frustrated professor: I wanted to go back and eat my own flesh.

Portland, Oregon

Five-year-old to father: Yay! We're going to the bridge of pies!

Near “Bridge of Sighs”
Oxford
England

Homeless man approaching peach stand: Peaches, what’s they job? [Silence from passersby.] They job, what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #1: Well, I think they have potassium…
Homeless man: But what’s they job?
Befuddled white preppy #2: The color probably means they have beta carotene…
Homeless man: Peaches, what’s they job?

Farmer’s market, Union Square
New York, New York

Overheard by: I don’t know, either

Brunette on cell: Bacon may be a powerful motivator, but…

Public library
Appleton, Wisconsin

Dude #1: Did you see the gash on his forehead?
Chick: Oh my god, there’s another fight going on!
Dude #2: Oh, look! The lunch line is short!

Glen A. Wilson High School
Hacienda Heights, California

Crackhead bag lady, her face two inches from stranger’s bratwurst meal: Is that cake?!

Detroit, Michigan

Guy: Oh I've slept in a field before. One time I slept with a sheep. I was interrupted in the middle of the night by a fox, though. The fox was like “grr!” and I was like “woah!”, but then I remembered that I had garlic bread in my bag.

An Cheathru Rua
Galway
Ireland

Overheard by: what happens in an cheathru rua…

Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!

American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Emily

Stoned girl #1, eating mint cookie: This tastes like Oreos.
Stoned girl #2: This isn't Oreos! It's… Oxford Creme cookie.
Stoned girl #1: Sounds like a pretentious Oreo to me.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Curly

Eight-year-old boy to mother browsing meat counter at the grocery store: Mom, what's veal?
Mother: It's just another kind of meat.
Eight-year-old boy: But what kind of animal does it come from?
Mother, motioning to her chest area: Oh, I think it's from the lamb part of the cow.

Toronto
Canadia