Friends

Very drunk male friend to very sober, pregnant, married friend: Can I phlegm on your cleavage?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/375684186/that-just-wont-work.html

Overheard by: a connoisseur of terrible pick-up lines

Freshman girl: Why are we judging her for being crazy?
Freshman friend: Yeah, if we think you're crazy, then you definitely have problems.
Freshman girl: But I'm still pissed at her for taking the good side of the bed.

U of A Campus
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: Alex

Slightly drunk friend: I hate Valentine's Day!
Slightly drunker friend: Me too. Anyway, so here's what I'm going to do: I'm just going to convince myself that I'm in love with him. That way, when he breaks my heart, I'll drop 20 pounds.

Volta Taverna
Oxford, Mississippi

Overheard by: that's the only diet i know…

60-year-old woman, spotting a friend walking towards her: Oh, fancy seeing you here!
Friend: How nice to see you! But no hugs below the waist this time.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/455563423/its-getting-harder-to-explain.html

Overheard by: curious.

Hot 21-year-old: Do I look fat in this?
Hot friend: Are you delusional?
Hot 21-year-old: Yay!
Hot friend: Being delusional isn't a good thing.
Hot 21-year-old: I'd rather be delusional then fat!

Rose Bay
Australia

Overheard by: Abbey

Guy coming out of bathroom: Dude, did you hear the angels singing?
Friend: What?
Guy: Man, that shit was magical.

Camp LeJeune, North Carolina

Guy exiting art class to female friend: I sleep through that whole class. It's all I can do.
Girl: What about when she asks attendance questions?
Guy: Well, I wake up for that part. It's just… God, I hate her! She's always talking about vaginas! And I'm just like, “Hello! I know what a vagina looks like!”

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Young dude: Yeah, when I was dating her I found myself doing, like, things I didn't really want to do.
Female friend: Like?
Young dude: Like she had a really high sex drive, which, you know, is such a turn off.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/460141972/mark-this-on-your-calendar.html

Overheard by: yeah, I hate having sex with people I'm dating.

Blond girl to friend: I would go out with him but I heard he was going to be deported soon.
Friend: Really? That sounds cool! Is he hot?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/446064748/girls-love-bad-boys.html

Overheard by: I'd go out with him too.

Girl #1: He fucking made my bed this morning! It was cute!
Girl #2: Aawwwww. I love when they do that. If you're gonna mess around in my bed, you gotta make it. It's kinda my rule: if you're gonna cum on me, you better wash it off too.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Meg