The Day I Met Charlie Sheen

Dude to friends: So he had this towel spread out on the bed, and he popped a cherry in his mouth…

San Luis Obispo, California

Posted on November 25, 2009
California, Friends, Fruit, Guys, Mouth, Weirdness

Adam and Eve Were Initially Quite Confused About Sex

Girl to friend: Yes, but he can't pick it off an apple tree that comes out of my vag.

Dorm
Washington, DC

Posted on October 29, 2009
Friends, Fruit, Girls, Vagina, Washington, DC, Weirdness

I'm Beginning to Suspect They're Not Twist-Off

Girl #1: Yeah, bananas cost less than apples.
Girl #2: No way, I'd totally choose apples over bananas.
Girl #1: Really? I'd choose bananas, they fill me up more.
Girl #2, thoughtfully: I can't open bananas.

Canadia

Posted on July 11, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Fruit, Girls, Money, Stupidity

It Defines Me.

Hobo to hipster: Is a BlackBerry a cell phone?
Hipster: Yeah, but I don't have one.
Hobo: I like blackberry pie!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on May 12, 2009
California, Cell phones, Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Hipsters, Hobos, Questions

Only If Mom Stops Using the Cucumber For…You Know.

Father to four-year-old: Stop spanking the eggplant!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Kay

Posted on December 23, 2008
Dads, Default, Fruit, Offers and requests, Oregon, Violence, Weirdness

All MacGyver Needs to Solve the Energy Crisis

New Yorker: Yo, gimme $30 on pump #2, a pack of Newports…and this banana.

Pembroke Pines, Florida

Overheard by: Inspectaneck

Posted on November 3, 2008
Default, Florida, Fruit, Guys, Offers and requests

The Store Really Shouldn't Stock Them in the Produce Department

(kids looking at strawberry flavored condoms)
Kid #1: Strawberries!
Kid #2: No, they're strawberry balloons.
Kid #3 (shocked): No, they're condoms!
All 3 kids: Arrghhh.

Supermarket
Melbourne
Australia