Let's Milk This Country for All It's Worth!

Nigerian man to wife loading small children into overcrowded rental van: Come, we are in America now! We go home and eat cheese!

Rosicrucian Museum
San Jose, California

Posted on March 14, 2009
California, Default, Food, Foreigners, Geography, Guys, Offers and requests, Tourist attractions

At This Point in My Life, They're Semi-Precious

Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)

College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Mandi

Posted on March 8, 2009
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Euphemisms, Geography, Ohio

We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies

Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!

Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 3, 2009
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Default, Employees, Food, Geography, Guys, Stores, Threats, Washington

In Their Jewelry Boxes

Guy: All girls from Minnesota have the same thumbs.

Jerusalem
Israel

Posted on February 23, 2009
Asia, Body parts, Default, Gender issues, Geography, Guys

She Was Getting All Verklempt Up in Here

Drunk girl: So she was teaching him Ebonics, and he was teaching her Yiddish…

Parish Cafe
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on February 15, 2009
Default, Education, Geography, Girls, Massachusetts, Names, Restaurants

The Main Problem Is the Language Barrier

Young man: I love living in Honolulu, but everything's so expensive. I can barely afford just to live. It's actually pretty common to buy milk for eight dollars a gallon!
20-something girl: Wow! Really? What's the exchange rate there?
Young man (looking rather baffled): It's about one to one.
20-something girl: Oh, well, that's not too bad.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on February 7, 2009
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Geography, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Language barrier, Money, Questions

Porn Overload Eventually Destroys Your Ability to Read

Customer looking up at menu board: Umm, I'll have the “German chock a lotta cock.”
(girl scooping ice cream looks horrified)
Customer, now pointing: The “German chock a lotta cock.” It's right there.
Ice cream girl: It's pronounced “German chocolate cake.”

Cold Stone Creamery
Fountain Valley, California

Overheard by: RL

Posted on February 6, 2009
California, Customers, Default, Geography, Girls, Language barrier, Names, Offers and requests, Penis, Stores

Wait 'Til She Learns Sweden Also Has Universal Healthcare

Jersey girl #1: And then she was like, “What's a Guido?”
Jersey girl #2 (blissfully): I like to think there's a world where people don't know what Guidos are. I bet there'd be unicorns.

Manasquan, New Jersey

Posted on February 3, 2009
Animals, Default, Geography, Girls, Language barrier, New Jersey, Questions, Weirdness

Yuppie Naming Conventions Apply Only to White People

Girl #1: Why the heck is her name “Brezelle”?
Girl #2: Well, she's African.
Girl #1: Oh.

Temple University, Pennsylvania

Posted on January 27, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Girls, Names, Pennsylvania, Questions

You Just Know There's a Girl in There Somewhere

Guy #1, during coldest day of the year: Chicks in long johns are totally hot, though… Right?
Guy #2: Ummm. Really?
Guy #1: Yeah! I mean… Minnesota lingerie!

St. Olaf College
Northfield, Minnesota

Overheard by: Concerned for our sexuality

Posted on January 25, 2009
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Geography, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Sexuality

Geography

Yuppie Naming Conventions Apply Only to White People