Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.
American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia
Woman: I orgasmed here once.
Friend, cheerfully: Oh, I've done that several times!
James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Annissa
Irate woman, commenting on depiction of Jesus at the Sidewalk Art Festival: He was so fat I couldn't even focus on the fact he was supposed to be Jesus.
Savannah, Georgia
Seven-year-old: Mommy, why is that man going under the train?
40-something woman: Because, sweetie, he works there.
Seven-year-old: He works under the train?
40-something woman: Yes, sweetie.
Seven-year-old: When I get older I wanna work under a train.
40-something woman: Nice, maybe you can pay for my funeral. Not like your older brother…
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Malina
Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can’t give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can’t just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I’m keeping you out of the will!
Target
Atlanta, Georgia
iPod girl on cell: I'm eating lunch and listening to lesbian music. (pause) Yeah, The L Word soundtrack. I'm working on becoming a lesbian again. (laughs) I'm just kidding. I'm still gonna drive stick. (pause) That's what happens when you're a cock whore. You can't just give it up cold turkey.
Atlanta, Georgia
Female classics major: My advisers are all men, and the youngest is, like, 45. And my thesis is on desire. It’s like, I don’t know what a male orgasm feels like. I don’t even know what a female orgasm feels like!
Emory University
Atlanta, Georgia
BBW: You wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation.
Skinny man: How would you know?
BBW: I mean it. You really wouldn’t want to see me in pretzel-formation. It’s not very pretty to watch. It gets stuck easily that way.
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Melissa
Art school hipster girl, in the middle of different conversation: Oh my god! I got my goddamned hair cut yesterday!
Art school hipster guy: I was gonna say in the car!
(art school hipster girl smiles with crazy eyes and mouth agape)
Art school hipster guy: No, seriously… It is so fresh.
Savannah, Georgia
