I Promise Not to Look at Joan Rivers from Now On

20-something guy: Why are you so concerned about this?
20-something girl: No, seriously. It will split your corneas in half.
20-something guy: Wow, I hadn't thought about that.

St. Paul, Minnesota

Posted on January 24, 2022
Body parts, Default, Fears, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Weirdness

Ironically, That's When I Realized We Were Lost.

Girl: So then she told me her sister decided to major in geography. I had to pull over to the side of the road because I was laughing so hard.

Massachusetts

Overheard by: English Major

Posted on January 23, 2022
Education, Family ties, Geography, Girls, Massachusetts

Not Even Doggy-Style?

Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.

New York City
New York

Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…

Posted on January 19, 2022
Animals, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Girls, Guys, New York, Sex, Words

Can They Still Call It Martha Stewart Living?

Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?

Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Zack

Posted on January 16, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Default, Georgia, Girls, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

With the Possible Exception of the Dominant Chord

Professor: So, how was survey of western music?
Girl: It was terrible: someone would always find a way to bring up gender issues. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but eighteenth century tonal music doesn’t give a shit about your vagina.

Sarah Lawrence College
Bronxville, New York

Posted on January 7, 2022
Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Gender issues, Girls, Gripes, Music, New York, Questions, Students, Teachers, Vagina, Words

You'd Rather Be Cheated on with Someone Ugly?

Hot girl: So when I finally met the girl he cheated on me with, I was in shock, because she was about a thousand times hotter than she looked on the picture I found.
Guy friend: Yeah. Well, some people are just not photogenic.
Hot girl: No, you don't understand! She's like supermodel hot, he had like no choice, even I would have fucked that Moroccan bitch right then and there.
Guy friend: That's so hot.
Hot girl: Life is not fair.

Starbucks

Posted on January 4, 2022
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Friends, Girls, Guys, Infidelity, Restaurants, Sex

Still Doesn't Explain How the Entire Cast Fit on the Set Of Roseanne

Brunette: I don't think dinosaurs were ever real.
Blonde: Why is that?
Brunette: If they were really that big, only like ten could fit on earth. They wouldn't even be able to walk around much.
Blonde: Oh, you're probably right. I've never thought about it like that before.

Northern Michigan University

Posted on January 3, 2022
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Michigan, Questions, Stupidity

And the Lake's Still Frozen

Chick: The peeing politician doesn't float my boat.

Michigan

Overheard by: Meister E

Posted on December 31, 2021
Default, Euphemisms, Girls, Michigan, Pee, Politics

The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen

Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!’
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?

College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina

Overheard by: Addison

Posted on December 28, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Condoms, Default, Drinking & drunks, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, South Carolina, Students, Stupidity

So There Goes My Weight-Loss Plan

Girl: I almost failed my drug test because I couldn't pee in front of the lady. I guess I can never go to prison.

Chico, California

Overheard by: KJ

Posted on December 20, 2021
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Drugs, Girls, Pee

Girls