Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.
Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota
Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.
Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota
Lady: … So she goes, ‘I don’t even know if it counts as sex. It was just, like, in and out in one second.’ And she’s only fifteen!
Restaurant, Belltown
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth
Suit #1: So, you heard who the new VP in my division is?
Suit #2: Yeah. She's… a character, I'll say that.
Suit #1: The Brits came to meet with her, and they left looking like… totally stunned.
Suit #2: Yep, she's a force of nature, all right.
Suit #1: I just can't believe they'd give her that job… That they want her dealing with all that political sensitivity when…
Suit #2, interrupting: When she's a maniacal feral wild woman?
Suit #1: And she openly admits that she doesn't think men should be in this division! She keeps making jokes about how we have no idea what the ladies want, and I'm like, how would she know either? She's not a lady, she's a monster!
Suit #2: She's like a Hindu goddess of fire and destruction!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Felicity Thistle
Professor: Oh, today is Johnny Cash’s birthday… In case you need a reason to drink.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/
Overheard by:
Sorority girl: Well, she should stop having abortions then!
University of Michigan
Sorostitute: I hear seminal fluid makes your teeth whiter.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-1.html
Overheard by: doug
Toddler boy in stall with mom: I’m done!
Mom: Are you sure? Why are you doing that? Don’t pull on it!
Toddler boy: Daddy does it all the time!
Border Grill
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Smooph
Chick: So basically I slept with this really hot Australian rugby player that I knew for less than 24 hours, and my dead friend watched.
Dude: We are so different.
Derby, Connecticut
Guy #1: … And he’d just sit in the back at these meetings listening, and every now and then he’d say something really intelligent — really eloquent, you know? And we’d all be like, ‘Wow, that was amazing,’ and then we’d notice his testicles were out.
Guy #2: Damn, I miss that guy.
Sub Connection, Ithaca College
New York
Overheard by: BLT on a garlic wrap
Girl #1: Y’know, it kind of weirds me out when I have sex with my boyfriend. He looks like Jesus.
Girl #2: Jesus wasn’t Mexican.
Girl #1: Yeah, yeah, but still — it’s like I’m having sex with Jesus.
Girl #2: You should talk to your pastor about that.
http://www.overheardinvancouver.ca/
Overheard by: katherine
