So There Are Only a Few Girls He Can Physically Have Sex With

20-ish girl on cell: No, he’s not gay! He’s just really, really tall…

Marietta, Georgia

Overheard by: Sidlee

Posted on March 5, 2022
Georgia, Gossip, On the phone

It Concerns Me When You Talk About Yourself in the Third Person, Mrs. Smith

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Restaurant
Redlands, California

Posted on March 3, 2022
Assholes, California, Compare and contrast, Education, Etiquette, Gossip, Grumpies, Guys, Restaurants, Sexuality, Teachers

A Spot-On Description of Ann Coulter

Girl: She’s like a horny guy, only not horny and not a guy.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Posted on February 6, 2022
California, Chicks, Gossip, Stupidity

Notice: Headline Delayed Due to Vomit on Keyboard

Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.

Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota

Posted on January 17, 2022
Employees, Gossip, Minnesota

That’s So Cute

Lady: … So she goes, ‘I don’t even know if it counts as sex. It was just, like, in and out in one second.’ And she’s only fifteen!

Restaurant, Belltown
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

Posted on January 12, 2022
Gossip, Ladies who lunch, Sex, Washington

…And She Won't Even Go Out with Me!

Suit #1: So, you heard who the new VP in my division is?
Suit #2: Yeah. She's… a character, I'll say that.
Suit #1: The Brits came to meet with her, and they left looking like… totally stunned.
Suit #2: Yep, she's a force of nature, all right.
Suit #1: I just can't believe they'd give her that job… That they want her dealing with all that political sensitivity when…
Suit #2, interrupting: When she's a maniacal feral wild woman?
Suit #1: And she openly admits that she doesn't think men should be in this division! She keeps making jokes about how we have no idea what the ladies want, and I'm like, how would she know either? She's not a lady, she's a monster!
Suit #2: She's like a Hindu goddess of fire and destruction!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle