Too Drunk to Hit On? Or Just Drunk Enough?

Woman: I don’t keep any money in my billfold. You know, in case I lose it. So, what’s your favorite Bible verse?

Macaroni Grill
Lawrenceville, Georgia

Overheard by: onethingleadstoanother

Posted on May 24, 2020
Bimbettes, Georgia, Gossip

I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big

Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on May 22, 2020
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Gossip, Gripes, Guys, Maryland, Questions, Students

‘Cause Then She Took One of My Legs and Snapped It

Skinny girl: My roommate’s nuts. We got into another fight.
Tall girl: Oh, God, what is it now? She’s mad again ’cause you don’t rinse every drop of toothpaste out of the sink, right?
Skinny girl: No, it’s the mayonnaise! The fucking mayonnaise! She accused me of eating it! Just the plain mayo, not on a sandwich or anything. I looked at her and told her, ‘Listen, bitch, I don’t eat mayo. I’m anorexic.’ She’s accusing me of having no self control!
Tall girl: So, what happened then?
Skinny girl: I was drunk, so I threw the mayo out our front door and said, ‘Ha! Now no one can eat it!’ I don’t think that helped the situation at all.

George Herman’s
Charlotte, North Carolina

Posted on May 18, 2020
Default, Food, Girls, Gossip, Health & Hygiene, North Carolina, Skinny people, Violence

And Now It’s Payback Time

Girl: Hey! That guy pierced my nipple on Friday!

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/get-him.html

Posted on May 15, 2020
Chicks, Gossip, Nipples, Overheard at Western

And That’s How You Were Conceived

WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.

Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 26, 2020
Backdoor, Gossip, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting

With the Possible Exception of the Half-Man-Half-Woman

Young guy: I know it’s stereotypical for a guy to want a girl who’s a freak in bed, but, really, it’s just so nice.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/what-leonard-cohen-neil-young-and.html

Posted on March 9, 2020
Gossip, Guys, Overheard in the Valley

Why Downward-facing Dog Was Invented

Loud girl, as rest of the yoga class goes quiet after teacher rings bell: He was so fat I couldn't find his wiener!

Wyoming

Posted on February 12, 2020
Girls, Gossip, Penis, Wyoming

You Never Told Me That!

Blonde #1: I think it’s good we called off the wedding.
Blonde #2: Yeah, marriage probably wasn’t the best idea.
Blonde #1: I wonder if I would’ve actually gone through with it.
Blonde #2: Do you seriously think you would have?!
Blonde #1: Well, maybe…
Blonde #2: But he slept with me right after he proposed to you!
Blonde #1: Yeah, I guess…
Blonde #2: And he went up my ass!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/put-that-in-pre-nup.html

Overheard by: juniper