Hippie guy: I suggest you stop picking up small animals and fruit skins. It’s not good for you.
Eugene, Oregon
Dazed guy: I didn’t know leg hair could get split ends.
Great Mall
Milpitas, California
Drunk man dragging a giant ten-foot stick down the middle of the street: I have to lift this over my head and spin around to see if I will be getting into a pool naked tonight.
Capitol Hill
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Celessa
Dude carrying Subway sandwich: My ass? No, I wouldn’t expect a girl to be looking at my ass.
Chick carrying Subway sandwich: Oh yeah. Women will look at your ass. But they can’t check out the other thing.
Dude: Well, under certain circumstances . . .
Chick: No, there’s nothing equivalent. There’s no cleavage shot.
Dude: A girl slapped my ass at the gym the other day.
Chick: Oh yeah. That’s right. I have slapped lots of asses.
Howard and New Montgomery
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Cleavage Shots All Around!
Man: You're going to need to empty your bladder.
Little girl (in squeaky high voice): I don't wanna empty my bladder!
Man (unashamedly loud): You'll need to empty your bladder before you get on the plane!
Little girl: Not fair!
St. Paul Airport
Minneapolis
Dude: It’s not that I live with my mom, it’s that my mom is my roommate…
Salem, Oregon
Overheard by: Sarah
Young guy: Dude, some guy dropped his baby on my foot earlier.
Illinois
Overheard by: munder
Guy to girl: I want to be on your mind, but not to your detriment… Not so you turn into some enslaved man-flesh addict.
Bellevue, Washington
New Yorker: So how do you like it down here?
Local thug: If it weren't for the double d breasts and sexy feet, I would've gotten the hell out of here years ago.
Fayetteville, North Carolina
Dude: Well, she’s not really a stylist. She’s actually a belly dancer.
Century City Mall
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: banging head against escalator
