Guys

Emo kid: Old people see me on the street with my bright pink hair and my studded collar and my eyeliner, and they hate me!
Girl: If I was old and I saw you, I would just laugh.

Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: shay

Guy #1: Isn't there something wrong with getting smashed at a baby shower?
Guy #2: Well, it wasn't exactly a kosher baby shower…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: intheback

Young guy on cell: Man, I don't know nobody by they real names, yo.

Framingham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Shifty

Man on cell in grocery store: As long as you don't call me “flipper,” that's okay.

Gresham, Oregon

Small-chested hiking girl: Damn! Hey, you'd wipe the sweat off my boobs, right?
Busty hiking girl: Only if you wipe mine.
Small-chested hiking girl: Somehow I think I'm going to have to do a lot more work.
Hiking boy: Uhhh…

Fort Boreman Park Hiking Trails
Parkersburg, West Virginia

Guy: So she lied to me. She said she wasn't eighteen.
Girl: How old was she?
Guy: Nineteen. And she said she wasn't a stripper.

Berkeley, California

Man describing play: You've never seen anything better then two sock puppets diddling each other.

Chicago, Illinois

Super smart, nerdy-looking guy: No! If you hit a mammoth with a comet, it will freeze!

High School
North Dakota

Overheard by: marisawin

Man in large custom-painted SUV, rollin' up: Hey! Lil' Jojo in there? (gestures toward apartment building)
Woman on front steps: I don't know!
Man: Will you go in and see if he there?
Woman: The door open. Whassamatta, you ain't got no legs?
Man: Shit! I don't know what apartment he in!
Woman: Well, you might be comin' to kill him…

St. Paul, Minnesota

Overheard by: Melissa

Guy walking into bathroom: Hey, is that your beer on top of that urinal?
Guy using urinal: You know it!

Prince Edward Tavern
Hamilton
Canadia

Overheard by: M@