Loud woman: How do you spell ‘taxi’?
1801 Alexander Bell Drive
Reston, Virginia
Husband to wife showing him Greek Bible: Honey, if English is good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.
Barnes & Noble
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: aharon
Guy in crowd evacuated from theater due to fire alarm: This is all a marketing trick… Just watch — any minute now one of those fire trucks is going to transform!
Transformers showing, AMC Theatre
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: JoBell
Teen girl #1: Lemur? What the hell’s a lemur?
Teen girl #2: Lemur is French for ‘light.’ You know, like the candlestick on Beauty and the Beast — lemur.
Teen girl #1: You’re so smart. How do you know this shit?
Teen girl #2: I took two years of French.
Lemur Exhibit, Denver Zoo
Denver, Colorado
White girl to Asian guy: So… How often is Chinese New Year?
http://overheardinumcp.blogspot.com
Overheard by: tom
Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
Guy #1: If I make a lot of money, I’m gonna hire a dwarf to stand on a stool and help me wash in the shower.
Guy #2: Why couldn’t you get a full-sized woman to do that?
Nearby chick: I hope neither of you ever make any money.
Stanford, Connecticut
Dude: I’ve been soiling myself for four days playing Guitar Hero.
Drake University
Des Moines, Iowa
