That Works More Often Than You'd Think

Crazy hobo: I like your hair.
Girl: Thanks.
Crazy hobo: Can I have it?
Girl: No, it's mine.
Crazy hobo: Oh, okay.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 30, 2015
Compliments, Crazies, Girls, Hair, Hobos, Illinois, Offers and requests

As I Proved Conclusively in My Doctoral Thesis

Professor, looking at picture of optical illusion: Here…we have…a bunch of lines.

Northwestern Univeristy
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 28, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Illinois, Sensory experiences, Teachers

…After Every Meal!

Little old lady to another as they part ways: Have a pleasant day, and don't forget to google!
Little old lady #2: What?
Little old lady #1: Google!

Union Station
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Illinois, Internet, Old folks, Questions, Weirdness

He Left, While Singing, “Everybody Was Kung Pao Fighting…”

Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on July 21, 2015
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Food, Girls, Guys, Illinois, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Wishes

Like Amniotic Fluid, Cigarette Smoke, and Misspent Youth.

Girl: Everything I touch smells like Britney Spears, but in a bad way.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on July 15, 2015
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Girls, Illinois, Sensory experiences

Nothing Like Fuzzy Wits and a Full Bladder

Man #1: You know what I’m gonna do as soon as that train comes? I’m gonna go in between the cars and take a whiz!
Man #2: Yo, man, you can’t do that! You’ll get in trouble! When the train comes just sit yourself down with me and we’ll smoke a joint!

Fullerton L platform
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 29, 2015
Friends, Illinois, Time Management

Apparently She Didn't Know That, Either.

Seven-year-old girl with speech impediment: I told everyone in class I was going to the Kentucky Derby.
Mother: Did people know what the Derby was?
Seven-year-old girl: Alicia didn't! She was like “what is the Derby?” but everyone else in the class knew!
Mother: Well, that is because she is from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire.
Mother: She's from Russia.
Seven-year-old girl: And New Hampshire?…I told her I was sorry she was adopted.

Southwest Flight above Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 28, 2015
Airports & flights, Default, Geography, Girls, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Questions, US Geography, Women

Why Girl Engineers Don’t Invite Boy Engineers to Their Slumber Parties

Engineer #1: We’re playing my little ponies?!
Engineer #2: Oh, god.
Engineer #1: Dude, we’re gonna fucking kill them! [Laughs maniacally].

Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois

Posted on June 28, 2015
Animals, Colleges & Universities, Coworkers, Illinois, Murder, Questions, Weirdness

God, You're Deep.

Bleached blonde, looking at hair dye: Oh! This is totally my hair color!
Brunette: No, it's not.
Bleached blonde: Well, it would be… If it changed.

Roscoe, Illinois

Overheard by: Dumbfounded Beauty Advisor

Posted on June 22, 2015
Chicks, Hair, Illinois, Stupidity

How Little You Wear Under It Is Up to You

Woman holding long sweater: Excuse me, do you work here?
Employee: Yes.
Woman: What is this? Is this a dress?
Employee: It's one of those… long… sweaters…

H&M, Water Tower Place
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 20, 2015
Clothes, Clothing, Default, Employees, Illinois, Questions, Shopping, Stores, Women