Biology professor: You're getting me all nervous about my penis… Which I measure daily.
Community College
Illinois
Biology professor: You're getting me all nervous about my penis… Which I measure daily.
Community College
Illinois
Girl #1: So my mom is getting married to that guy she met on the internet.
Girl #2: Internet? He might be a serial killer!
Girl #1: Yeah, but she lives in Florida, so at least I don't have to hear about it.
Bathrooms
Cinema, Illinois
Girl in puffy pink coat: I went to Jared's yesterday and I was all like, “you're a jerk.” Know what I mean?
Girl in puffy white coat: I dunno. My nails are orange.
Illinois institute
Overheard by: abbie
20-something guy: I'm gonna buff the shit out of my nails!
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl: Yeah, I dipped his junk in pie.
Wesleyan Residence Hall
Illinois
Overheard by: Confused Resident
Guy to stranger: Is it just me, or is that guy jerking off to Pac-Man?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Professor: Here's a good thing to compare to the turgor pressure in a plant cell: have any of you seen an erection?
University of Illinois at Chicago
Overheard by: suddenly paying attention
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
Girl #1, listening to strange music: What is this? It sounds like hypnotizing propaganda music.
Girl #2: It sounds like underwater Christmas music.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
