Guy: Yeah, this woman over at the Sun-Times building used to make this focaccia bread for us, it was great. But she was Italian-American though, she didn't know, she didn't even know what a cannoli was!
Friend: What!?
Guy: Yeah! And, like, zeppoli, she didn't know what a zeppoli was either! And those are like the two big things, y'know?
Friend: Oh, man!
Guy: That's what happens! That's what happens when you mix up the blood!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: SOB: Stale Off the Boat
Drunk man to another: I don't know if I should get a sandwich or a fucking whore…
Chicago, Illinois
Woman loading mini van outside K-Mart: I hate mini vans, the only people that need mini vans are old people, white people, crackheads, and people who need 'em.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rebecca
Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: NeededSome
Burly guy: When I saw Titanic six times, I sat right in the front.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Jailbait to friends: I just hate being handled, you know?
Giggly friend: Ew!
Jailbait: No, I mean, like… (trails off)
Construction worker, softly, to himself: Oh please, god…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: do not want
