Girl #1: Now, you're a native New Yorker. I can tell.
Girl #2: I'm from North Carolina.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl #1: Now, you're a native New Yorker. I can tell.
Girl #2: I'm from North Carolina.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: Now, ladies, I am impressed with your Louis Vuitton and your coach. I adore your Prada and your Gucci. They are beautiful. But I will be more impressed with all of your bags if you stow them under the seat while we are landing. Now sit back and shut up.
(five minutes later, while plane is taxiing)
Delightfully gay and snarky flight attendant: We are finally here. So please, exit the plane a lot quicker than you boarded it. (plane stops, parks at gate) Get out.
Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Guy #1: Hey man, how've you been?
Guy #2: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Chicago, Illinois
Guy: Yeah, this woman over at the Sun-Times building used to make this focaccia bread for us, it was great. But she was Italian-American though, she didn't know, she didn't even know what a cannoli was!
Friend: What!?
Guy: Yeah! And, like, zeppoli, she didn't know what a zeppoli was either! And those are like the two big things, y'know?
Friend: Oh, man!
Guy: That's what happens! That's what happens when you mix up the blood!
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: SOB: Stale Off the Boat
Drunk man to another: I don't know if I should get a sandwich or a fucking whore…
Chicago, Illinois
Woman loading mini van outside K-Mart: I hate mini vans, the only people that need mini vans are old people, white people, crackheads, and people who need 'em.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Rebecca
Flight attendant: Just for future reference, when flying into O'Hare, Xanax is your friend.
O'Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: NeededSome
Burly guy: When I saw Titanic six times, I sat right in the front.
Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
