Guy: All I heard was, ‘Blah, blah, blah, I’m a dirty tramp.’
Los Portales
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: girl at next table
Angry girl in bank drive-through, on phone: Hey, bitch! That girl you had me with last night? Her cunt tasted like fish!
Bank teller: (speechless)
Coralville, Iowa
Overheard by: KC
City bus driver, at the beginning of his shift: My name is Bob, I'll be your new bus driver. I'll be taking this bus down University to… some mall. I don't know where we're going, heh. I'm new. I will drive very carefully… unless you piss me off.
Des Moines, Iowa
Little girl, holding mannequin's hand: Daddy! Daddy! Look!
Dad: Is that your new mommy?
Little girl, singing: No! She doesn't have a head!
Coralville, Iowa
Female violinist, after conductor walks past: Do you ever want to slap Dr. Muller*'s ass? Cause I almost just did.
Female cellist: He has a doctorate in orchestral conducting.
Female violinist: And an ass I want to tap right now.
College Orchestra Tour Bus
Clive, Iowa
Orchestra director to French horn player: Can you just stick your fist up in there?
Luther College
Decorah, Iowa
Overheard by: percussionist who snorted like a 12-year-old
Guy: This macaroni and cheese tastes like prison.
Davenport, Iowa
Overheard by: Don
Young man to friends: So apparently people get all offended if you walk into the farmers market with a bottle of KY jelly.
Iowa City, Iowa
Hipster to boyfriend: There are certain places that you expect a woman's nipples to be, and hers were not in any of those places.
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Girl, on sex-ed: Well, I went to a Catholic school and as a result I didn't know what a penis was until I got to high school.
Guy: I think these middle school girls need psychotherapy before they need birth control. 11-year-olds shouldn't be having sex.
Girl: Girls? Why just the girls? They're having sex with 11-year-old boys. You need something to stick in there in order to get pregnant.
Professor: Well, it looks like you found out what a penis was.
University of Northern Iowa
Cedar Falls, Iowa
