Angry chick: Why did God create men? They’re stupid!
Friend: ‘Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could’ve just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno…
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh… It’s better than the alternative! They’re sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.
Iowa
Overheard by: ewww
Hootchie #1: Yeah, we just got back from a dildo party.
Hootchie #2: And we smell like two-dollar hookers!
Des Moines, Iowa
Student: This morning I watched Walker, Texas Ranger. They're always going around talking to Native Americans.
Professor: That's good.
Decorah, Iowa
Girl: So all these old football guys showed up…and long story short, she ended up making out. With Terry Bradshaw.
Joe's Place
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: devon
Distressed girl in dining hall: Her questions go in a circle, then down to the corner and back. Except the teacher thinks they come all the way back but no, they don't. I'm still down at the corner thinking to myself, “Where the fuck am I?!”
Cornell College, Iowa
Angry girl in bank drive-through, on phone: Hey, bitch! That girl you had me with last night? Her cunt tasted like fish!
Bank teller: (speechless)
Coralville, Iowa
Overheard by: KC
City bus driver, at the beginning of his shift: My name is Bob, I'll be your new bus driver. I'll be taking this bus down University to… some mall. I don't know where we're going, heh. I'm new. I will drive very carefully… unless you piss me off.
Des Moines, Iowa
Little girl, holding mannequin's hand: Daddy! Daddy! Look!
Dad: Is that your new mommy?
Little girl, singing: No! She doesn't have a head!
Coralville, Iowa
Female violinist, after conductor walks past: Do you ever want to slap Dr. Muller*'s ass? Cause I almost just did.
Female cellist: He has a doctorate in orchestral conducting.
Female violinist: And an ass I want to tap right now.
College Orchestra Tour Bus
Clive, Iowa
