I Have Them Washed and Brought to My Tent

Girl, joking: I love when girls are walking around drunk with eye makeup smeared around their faces.
Guy: Yeah, those are the ones I try to take home.
Girl: What?
Guy: Do you really think I go around looking for girls with good personalities?

Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on December 29, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Drinking & drunks, Fashion, Girls, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Sexuality

Pickings Seem to Be Slim in Iowa

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Posted on October 13, 2017
Bars & Clubs, Bimbettes, Chicks, Compare and contrast, Default, Friends, Gossip, Iowa, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Penis, Sexuality, Students

And Nobody in the State Is That Color

Girl to waitress: So the baby's a cute little bugger. They don't know who he looks like yet.

Olive Garden
Davenport, Iowa

Overheard by:

Posted on May 6, 2017
Compare and contrast, Customers, Default, Girls, Iowa, Kids

I’m Considering Reaching Out to Her With a Fifty Caliber Rifle

Man #1: How’s your wife?
Man #2: How should I know?
Man #1: What do you mean: “How should I know?”? She’s your wife! Don’t you talk to her?
Man #2: Not since she got the restraining order on me.

Huxley, Iowa

Overheard by: Hondo

Posted on July 26, 2015
Crimes, Default, Friends, Guys, Iowa, Questions, Relationships, Weirdness

Wait, It’s Fall? How Long Was I Playing That Wii?

Boyfriend, looking around suspiciously: … It smells funny…
Girlfriend: It’s the outside!

Webster City, Iowa

Overheard by: Phoebe

Posted on July 16, 2015
Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Iowa, Sensory experiences, Threats

Girl Squirrel: Oh No She Didn’t!

Angry chick: Why did God create men? They’re stupid!
Friend: ‘Cause we need their sperm to procreate.
Angry chick: Well, he could’ve just had us fuck squirrels instead. I dunno…
Friend: What?!
Angry chick: Eh… It’s better than the alternative! They’re sooo damn cute!
Friend: Oh, wow.

Iowa

Overheard by: ewww

Posted on July 16, 2015
Animals, Creepsters, Iowa, Sex

…And Boy Are My Arms Tired!

Hootchie #1: Yeah, we just got back from a dildo party.
Hootchie #2: And we smell like two-dollar hookers!

Des Moines, Iowa

Posted on June 18, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Hoochies, Iowa, Money, Sensory experiences, Toys

Translation: That's Lazy Screenwriting

Student: This morning I watched Walker, Texas Ranger. They're always going around talking to Native Americans.
Professor: That's good.

Decorah, Iowa

Posted on June 11, 2015
Iowa, Language barrier, Race, Students, Teachers, TV shows

With a Cardboard Cut-Out Of Him, Anyway

Girl: So all these old football guys showed up…and long story short, she ended up making out. With Terry Bradshaw.

Joe's Place
Iowa City, Iowa

Overheard by: devon

Posted on June 10, 2015
About celebrities, Bars & Clubs, Girls, Gossip, Iowa, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Teacher: Every Damn Day I Try To Ditch That Chick At The Corner

Distressed girl in dining hall: Her questions go in a circle, then down to the corner and back. Except the teacher thinks they come all the way back but no, they don't. I'm still down at the corner thinking to myself, “Where the fuck am I?!”

Cornell College, Iowa

Posted on December 7, 2014
Education, Girls, Iowa, Questions, Weirdness