Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?
Girl: So… How did your sex tape go?
Overheard by: AJ
Homely housewife: And she said, “are you going to blot it?” and I said, “of course, that's why I collect napkins.”
Overheard by: verticalQ
Sophomore #1: I mean, I don't really keep up with current events that much.
Sophomore #2: You need watch the news. Seriously. It's the twentieth century.
Overheard by: Oh, high school
Enthusiastic elderly Southern woman: There was BBs flying all through the winders, I was so upset I cried. I wasn't going to church at that time, but I went to Wal-Mart.
Overheard by: Akilah
Bimbette #1: I think I did okay on the test, but I didn’t get any of the locations.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, they were hard to study for.
Bimbette #1: Yeah, like, I put them all in Asia, and I thought maybe something was wrong. I mean… Madrid sounds Chinese, doesn’t it?
University of Louisville
Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…
JCPenney, Florence Mall
Overheard by: Dohiyi
Slightly drunk chick, peering into drink: I think my cat is gay.
Really drunk friend: Hey, heyyyy…
Slightly drunk chick: Or maybe he's just a slut.
Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]
Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too
Professor: Carbon-14 is an unstable marriage. He’s putting cocaine up his nose while she’s working hard. It can’t last, you know. That’s expensive.